When I was a kid, I wondered occasionally if I had been dropped off by aliens because I felt so different from my parents. I mean, I have some of their physical features, sure, but who I was was SO very opposite from them, that I felt out of place. I mean, I definitely got some of their genetics. Height from my dad, not a whole lot from my mom, but bad hair from everyone I’m even remotely related to. I got their love of music and animals, but beyond that…I felt like I was not related to them at all. It was a strange feeling, and given my lack of siblings, there wasn’t anyone to share this with or to feel like I had someone else to possibly be like.
When my son was born, I was shocked to see his incredibly fair features. His light blue eyes and bright blonde hair…he is the opposite of my husband and I. It’s funny, while he looks like us in some ways, he also looks nothing like us in others…he’s his own person. It’s amazing how some things get passed on and some things don’t. I mean, we can inherit things from our parents that aren’t just genetic features or things we love to do. My parents passed on to my my eye color and my hair color, but they also passed on to me other things that are more subtle. They were quite fearful when I was a child. So fearful that something might happen to me, that they never ever were apart from me. This passed on a very strong irrational fear that I could never be away from them, even for a couple of hours, without something bad happening. I struggled with this through my whole childhood and only was really able to successfully go to friend’s houses without my mom tagging along with me when I was about 12 years old. And this trait is not something that’s new to the family either. There are a few people in my extended family who actually never left home at all. Ever. It’s a trait that’s been just as prominent as eye color or foot size that has been handed down for generations now.
Have you ever noticed that kids sometimes grow up and repeat the same “mistakes” their parents made? I’ve seen this before and kind of wondered why on earth they would make the exact same choice their parents did…when they’ve had the opportunity to watch how that choice affected the lives of the ones who came before them. It’s because we pass down to our kids more than just our talents or looks. We pass down to them other things, good and bad. My mom is a ver passionate person who tends to go full speed ahead on issues. I got that from her. And my dad has a great sense of humor…which is where I learned to laugh so much. But there were also the fears, the inability to take risks, and the never feeling good enough…those things also tried to hop right aboard my life too. And this is why I’ve been thinking so much about it all. What am I going to pass on to my kids? I mean, obviously I’m only human so no matter how hard I try, I’m sure they’re going to pick up some stuff from me that’s not super awesome. But I’d really like to stop making negative comments about myself to start. Stop being so paranoid about weight loss and eating correctly…I don’t want them to be afraid to eat things that are fun. I don’t want them to have a mom who gives up on her dreams, thereby enabling them to do the same. Or a mom who doesn’t feel like she deserves a compliment. I want to teach them that it’s okay to travel, and that leaving home and seeing the world isn’t a scary thing. Although, I still battle that fear in myself. Regardless, I can change these things in myself for my kids and do things that might be uncomfortable for me so not only can THEY live out a full life, but maybe I can also do things I never really thought I’d have the guts to do. I think it’s worth it.
One thing I’m betting I will pass on to my children is that it’s okay to dress like an individual. Already they want to wear superhero capes and animal hats and all kinds of fun stuff when we go out to the store. And I’m sure as heck gonna let them because being who they are is important to me. I was an individual from birth, and that’s never changed.
The thing I love about this outfit is that it’s kind of crazy, but in a way that all the elements actually compliments each other. The pants were on super sale on zara.com and the lace top was from there as well. The pink top and the loafers were thrifted, as was the gold necklace. This outfit just makes me happy. It’s fun, vintage inspired, and has the right mix of bohemian and structured 70’s that I love.
No matter if you FEEL like you’re an individual or not, you are. You might have inherited a LOT from your parents…genetically and emotionally…but that doesn’t mean that you are not your own person! If I can be myself after years of feeling like I couldn’t even survive being away from my parents, then you can too! :)