At some point in my fashion journey, I have had a revelation. I have seen the light. And it has beckoned me towards it. Yes, my style is often an epic mashup of lots of things, but amongst those style elements, one of them has emerged frequently. I like to dress like a cult leader at times. I know, I know. I am as horrified as you are. How can this be? I seem so mild mannered and sweet…(well now I’m just straight up lying through my teeth, how very cult leader of me!) But yes, I have realized this, and I wanted to do the right thing and share it with all of you.
After having this, um, spiritual-like enlightenment, I had another epiphany. Lots of cult leader style is in high fashion. Often.
Let’s stop for a moment. Doesn’t high fashion sometimes just…make you LAUGH??? I mean, if I was wearing all that couture, I would NOT be wailing and acting like someone just died. I’d be doing a happy dance with a permanent smile affixed to my face. (How very, un-cult leader-y of me). But this is it. High fashion meets cult leader. And I have signed up. I’m drinking the Kool-Ade.
If you’re kind of confused about what on earth I mean by “cult leader style”, let me break it down for you. It’s pretty simple.
1. Sleeves. Cult leaders need long bell sleeves because they do a lot of hand and arm gesturing. The flowy sleeves really help drive their point home. I don’t think I’m very convincing at all in short sleeves.
2. Dress Shape. You don’t see a lot of waistbands or belts on cult leaders. I’m not sure why…but you have to wear tunic shaped dresses, no matter male or female. No pants, no belts, just a long piece of fabric. Keep it simple. That way, you can focus on more important things, like naming new planets and coming up with a theme song. (Cult leaders have those right?)
3. Demeanor. You must always appear calm and put together. Aw crap. Guess I can’t be a cult leader after all guys. Or I guess, as in the photo above, you can wail at random like a crazy person. But I don’t recommend that in a normal setting like in, say, a coffee shop with other humans present. Also, patting people’s heads and saying “my child” a lot is a bonus. This will definitely give you that extra authority…mixed with those long sleeves…that you need to gain followers.
Here’s my look that definitely says: “come follow me, my child” (see how I did that?) and I know you want to go and do the same. Okay. Gotta go finish up my theme song now…