Fashion Feelings: Tough and Tender

I like to pretend I’m tough.  I like to dress up in rocker tees, big jewelry, get tattoos, and load on the black eyeliner.  Because that makes me look and feel tough, and when the pedal really hits the medal, I am not really all that tough.  I can’t watch tv shows where people die.  Unless, of course, they are coming back as a vampire or werewolf.  Because that’s just cool.  I’ve never been good at confrontation.  In fact, when I’ve had to do those kinds of things in the past, I typically can’t breathe while I’m saying what has to be said and then I just dissolve into tears afterwards.  No, I would say when it comes to being tough or tender, I am firmly in the “tender” camp.

I volunteered at the thrift store that supports my kids’ school today, because first of all, that means I get to shop while doing it (bonus) and also I need to log in some hours to support their school.  I’m happy to do it.  I may have bought a few things in the process, we cannot be certain ;)  When I came in and put on my “Volunteer” name tag, the manager oriented me to the store (even though she knows I know the store pretty darn well!) and she said, “just don’t be rude to people”.  I laughed and told her that I wasn’t sure I knew how to be rude to people and she kind of cocked her head and looked at me…saying: “yeah…I can’t really imagine you being rude at all…”  She then went on to say that it was easy for her to be not so nice to people.  Have you noticed that people are usually one or the other?  Tough OR tender?  I’ve met a few people who are both, but they’re more rare than the either/or people.  Like me.

Whatever we are, we usually have to work on the opposite.  I have to work on being tough.  Constantly.  With my kids, with my business, heck, even when I order food and they get it wrong.  I am so NOT into confrontation that I would most definitely chose the path of least resistance when it comes to the potential for hurting people’s feelings.  But since that is no way to live and is obviously a super ineffective parenting method, I have to work on the opposite.  However, I have known lots of people who are like, ready to GO all the time.  You know, the ones who get excited when they hear that there might be a problem and they’re ready to defend anyone, anywhere, over anything.  They have to work on being tender.  It’s like…if they could see more from the other person’s perspective and if I could maybe pay attention to my OWN perspective for once…we could meet in the middle and be tough AND tender.  The sweet spot.

It’s hard and often painful to do things that are out of our nature.  I mean, the times I’ve had to confront people for work or something, I have waited until it was ABSOLUTELY necessary to do so.  I ran through what I had to do, I had people help me come up with what needed to be said.  And yet, in the moment, I felt like I was dragging my nails across a chalkboard or trying to breathe under water (actually kind of literally on that last one!).  I can imagine, for a person who finds confrontation quite easy, it might feel the same NOT jumping up and dealing with what’s bugging them, and instead listening and letting something go.  I’ve experienced this over and over again, and yet it always seems to apply no matter what’s going on in my life:  the path of least resistance is not always the best place to be.  I don’t go looking for confrontation or difficulty (I think we’ve established that already!) but I also don’t automatically assume that when things are hard or don’t feel natural, that I’m in the wrong place.  Because if that were the case, I would literally NEVER do anything new, ever.

I found these Blank NYC faux leather bells on Poshmark for a great deal, and I had to have them.  I mean, they’re like so Grease meets hippie vibes.  And I really loved the idea of wearing a kind of lumberjack vintage flannel with them.  Super tough!  One of the most special things about this outfit though, is my necklace.  It belonged to the most tough and tender woman I have ever known and I am beyond honored to own something of hers.  Myself and a lot of other people lost her recently and she reminds me still to love people relentlessly but to never back down, ever.  And now, I gotta figure out how to breathe under water… :)

Happy Wednesday…hope you’re being tough when you need to be and tender when it counts!

Fashion Feelings: On Taking Breaks

So…it’s been much MUCH longer than I intended since I posted last.  I think I tend to fall firmly into that good old “overly ambitious” crowd who often loads way too much onto their plate (both literally and figuratively, I stopped eating at self serve restaurants for this reason).  Yes.  Here I am, like more than a month since I last posted.  And what on EARTH have I been doing with all my time?  Hahahaha WHAT TIME????

My kids started preschool, like overnight.  We had planned on waiting till fall and starting one in Kindergarten and one in preschool, but in order to get into the amazing school we wanted, we had to jump on the last two available spots mid year.  And thank goodness we did, because turns out my kids are SO READY and p.s., so am I!  However, this meant potty training.  Oh my GOSH you guys.  If there was ever something that I’d rate as THE LEAST FUN THING EVER, it would be potty training.  It was straight up everyone screaming at each other, crying, no one dealing with anything well (except my husband who was the rock star who actually got them to use the toilet) for about a week…and really more like two weeks if I’m honest.

On top of all that I’ve had my first ever pop ups for Velvet California which is SO EXCITING and also SO STRESSFUL.  I’ve been working my butt off on new stuff and trying to get it all done on a deadline and now my three year old is dumping banana peels on me, because, well, this is my life.  Ok. Now the banana peels have been properly disposed of, I’m back.  The bathroom still smells like peanut butter barf since my son ate a lot of peanut butter and then drank a lot of bath water and promptly vomited all over the bathroom.  I cleaned it up thoroughly, and yet…the aroma lingers in the air.  My daughter had a coughing fit in the middle of the night and then barfed on me, after which she told me that I smelled “disgusting and yucky.”  So yes, the answer to “what have I been doing with all that time?” is: cleaning up barf, forcing children to use the toilet, and drinking a lot of coffee to motivate me to not just lie around and watch tv the second they go to sleep.  For those of you who do NOT have kids, I apologize because now you probably never will.

And now, for something completely different!  I only choose to promote brands or stores if they are someone/something I really love.  And I really love this girl.  A little while ago, Katy (yes, she’s my name twin!) from @thevintagearah sent me a pair of earrings I said I loved.  She didn’t ask me to write about her or anything, she was just sweet enough to gift these beauties to me, so I wanted to promote her…because she’s just cool.  She’s a fellow mom, she has two boys aged 7 and 10, and she was born and raised in Texas, y’all.  Her love of fashion began when her mom would take her to the fabric store and let her pick out patterns for her own clothes.  My mom made me clothes and I also kind of hated to go to the fabric store as a child…so I can relate with this story!  However, she and I both loved the same part of this experience…looking through the pattern books!  It’s really the most fun spot in the fabric store to me!  After spending her teen years thrifting her fashion, she went from opening an Etsy store to doing flea markets to having her own storefront location.  Her goal is to offer “modern fashion style contained in vintage items.” She hopes that people will be inspired by what they find in her store to create a unique, modern and individual style.  I think she’s winning :)

Ahhhh…it’s good to be back.  And to be honest, I can’t think of a better way to kick off blogging for the new year than by talking a little bit about someone ELSE other than myself!

When I saw these earrings, I instantly knew what I was going to pair them with.  They have a definite “1970s Palm Springs Loungewear” kind of vibe to them, so I thought it would be fun to pair them with a lime sherbet shade.  I also loved the idea of adding vintage cowboy boots to relax the look a little.  This dress is actually more of a robe/dressing gown, so I loved the idea of having this sort of retro glam look!

Thanks Katy, for giving me the kick in the butt I needed to start blogging again!


Fashion Feelings: Owning It

Ah, the life of a girl.  We are born, and then we rapidly begin hating body parts.  I think it’s something that we almost don’t even need to be taught, it’s just innate.  But of course, television, the internet, and magazines filled with genetically modified humans don’t help either.  The other day I saw that the Victoria’s Secret “fashion” show was on.  (The “fashion” is in quotes because, um, isn’t it…UNDERWEAR?)  Don’t get me wrong…I’m not hating on it because I can tell there’s some gorgeous, uhhhh, underwear (?) made out of gemstones and feathers and boning and all kinds of comfy things that we all normally wear in our undergarments.  There’s live music and pretty sparkly things and girls the size of toothpicks who have all had 16 children naturally and lost all their weight within moments of childbirth…it’s totally entertainment.  (Okay, it’s possibly I AM hating on it a tad.)  I didn’t watch the show, but the clips I did see made me wonder…”WHY DO WOMEN WANT TO SEE THIS?”  I literally saw a few moments of it and I was instantly looking at myself wondering why I look like I do.  Oh yeah, that’s right.  Because I’M A NORMAL HUMAN.  Dang it.

Despite my crazy rant above, which was a bit unintended, I actually have become a lot more secure about myself over the past few years.  I’m NOWHERE near secure enough to watch a VS “fashion” show obviously, but I’m better than I used to be.  I’ll prove it to you.

I’m an only child, as you know.  Instantly however, I entered into a massive competition…with myself.  I actually remember standing outside in the mobile home park I lived in (the fact that I can even admit to you I lived in one of those is again proof that I’m more secure!) and telling myself that I wanted to be the most beautiful girl…period.  Dang.  I think back to this moment and I remember how fierce I was, how harsh I was being on myself, and how much I was setting myself up for failure.  Because I’d like to argue that there are many, many, MANY most beautiful women in the world.  But that moment definitely started a cycle for me.

I was very sheltered growing up, home schooled, and then I went to a VERY VERY small private high school, so I kind of got what I wanted.  I got to be “popular” (when you’re home schooled, you’re always top of your class, get it?) and I got to be “pretty” and I felt fairly secure in myself.  Or so I thought.  Then I went to Cal Poly State University in my hometown.  Oh freaking em gee, you guys.  That’s when it all went downhill.  Let me tell you a little something about Cal Poly girls.  They are all perfect.  They’re always a little tanner, thinner, blonder, and have more perfect boobs than…EVERYONE.  They have a  brand new Mercedes that their parents bought for them and clothes from brands I had never even heard of.  I was in a world of hurt when I started.  I will never forget how panicky I felt when I started my first quarter of college.  Sure, sure, I got a perfect score on my very first college essay.  That should have been a HUGE win for me.  But instead, all I could see was that one girl.  She had long beautiful hair (my hair has always been a sore spot for me).  She had BOOBS (I had MAYBE and A cup, on a good day.  There was no push up bra that could do that sort of wizardry).  She had this perfect tiny waist (see my last post on how I don’t got one of those).  And she was PERFECT.  She wore her pajamas to class with basically no makeup and, um, I don’t look like that without makeup.  Sure, this sounds like I was her stalker, but really, she was the mirror I looked in every morning at 8am Monday-Thursday.  And it was not a mirror that told me what I wanted to see.

I know a lot of girls struggle with insecurity at some point in their lives, and some even more severe than I did/do.  But I remember there being many, many days when I would hide in my room and not leave the house because I had a big zit, or my hair looked crappy, or I just didn’t like the way my face looked.  Instead of going out and having fun with a friend, I would sit in my room and cry and tell myself what I failure I was and how ugly I was and basically tear myself a new one just because I wasn’t pretty enough.  Ouch.  I wish I could go back and comfort that girl who was so worried about not measuring up.

I’ve grown up a lot since then.  Sure, I still try to avoid staring for long periods of time at “perfect humans” because that definitely doesn’t make me feel great, but I’ve started owning things about myself that I fought for so long.  My hair.  I used to blow dry the crap out of it.  It was platinum blonde, and fried within an inch of it’s life.  I wouldn’t let it curl or frizz at all (which was a losing battle, FYI).  When I finally relented and went back to a more natural shade and then let it just BE…I started actually LIKING the hair I was born with.  I started choosing makeup that complimented ME and MY skin instead of always reading what the latest hot celeb was wearing and trying to make that fit me.  I realized that if I wore the things that made ME look great instead of trying to wear crazy padded bras and things that were attempts at changing my body shape, that I actually could like the way I looked.  I stopped looking at a photo of someone else, then back at myself…I started looking at me, and realizing that I am who I AM and that is what I need to own.  Comparison steals our joy.  Every single time.

Much like our quirks, our “flaws” and our unique features, just OWNING our style makes it work I think.  I think half the battle for most things is just deciding “I’m doing this.”  Many of you know I’m in the process of launching a clothing line that’s all original stuff.  I had a lot of moments where I was waffling back and forth and then finally, I committed.  I decided that this is what I’m doing.  That’s the way I approach getting dressed too.  I love love this denim duster I got from the beautiful new shop Revamped The Collection in Paso Robles.  It’s unique and fun and I put it on and OWN IT.  My boots are just the best things ever, made by the incredible @hillbillygypsyboots (I have three pairs and they’re insane, please get yourself a pair).

And regardless of your size, hair color, or body type, please feel the freedom to own it.  Because nothing is more beautiful than confidence.  Period.  Plus, I’m betting that diamond encrusted undies would chafe like a mother.



Fashion Feelings: Tiny Annoying Setbacks

Seriously you guys, my life is like one perpetual diet.  And I’m not referring to the fact that I eat healthy.  No, no, that is something I do because I like to do it.  I eat salads instead of fries and acai bowls instead of ice cream because I actually feel better when I do.  What I’m referring to is the calorie counting and the not splurging on even healthy treats.  That’s what I’m talking about.  Yes, it’s called #momlife and the fact that I just don’t get to get as much sleep as I’d like, I tend to run out of energy from changing multiple diapers, cleaning up toys, and loading and unloading kids into car seats…and for all of these things, my body wants MORE FOOD.  So you want to know what happens?  I get into a routine.  I have a great week where I’ve worked out every day, my calories have been #onpoint, and I’m just #killingit.  (sorry for all the hashtags, it’s hard to stop once you start). And then…one of the kids gives me a mild tummy bug, a cold, or wakes up in the middle of the night and BOOM.  Routine destroyed.  #fail.  (#sorrynotsorry omg how do I turn it off??)

It drives me crazy.  I get frustrated because my typical iron clad low carb routine dissolves into me having to eat toast because my stomach is messed up, not working out because I have middle-of-the-night-toddler-freak-out exhaustion, or just overall eating more than I should because I don’t have the time to pay attention to my calorie count.  Or I’m just tired and hungry.  So I eat a little extra. Sure, sure, I need to give myself grace.  I know, I’m crazy hard on myself often when it comes to this stuff, so let’s try to focus on the point I’m making and not that I’m just plain crazy.  Crazy hard on myself or crazy…it’s all about the same thing!

My kids are young.  And it’s so fun to have young kids.  They’re so freaking cute.  But this often causes small “setbacks” in my routine.  It forces me to be okay with some weeks being “bad diet” weeks.  Even though I try my darnedest…sometimes I just need an acai bowl on a day I didn’t work out.  (I know you’re like “Oh my GOSH Katy you’re SO CRAZY!” #sarcasm)  But this is kind of the truth about being a mom at times.  You have to let go of the things you once held dear.  Your precious schedule.

Even though it is hard, and my feelings of frustration are valid, I think it’s kind of good for me at times to just do my best to be okay with who I am right now.  Yes, I will keep working on that dang last ten pounds until I can kick them (and I WILL kick them), but it’s good for me to learn to accept who I am at the moment.  I’m a mom.  I have more of a “mom body” than I used to, and some of that will always remain, weight lost or not.  I have stretch marks.  And sometimes, I won’t be able to stick to my routine.  That needs to be okay with me, because life is about more than just being hyper disciplined, as good as discipline is.

I’m thankful for clothes like this, because you know what?  They always look good.  I don’t have to be having a “thin day” to wear them and feel great about myself.  This cocoon wrap is from Aavintedge, and her mom (@modmelrose) is just about the coolest seamstress EVER.  My gosh, I want so much more of her stuff.  Scratch that.  I basically want everything she makes.  She uses vintage fabrics and makes the best stuff out of them.  And then there’s stretch velvet bell bottoms.  Go get yourself a custom pair, why don’t ya?  Because everyone needs more velvet in their lives ;)

Eat a donut for me will ya?

Fashion Feels: Black Friday

Black Friday.  It’s like a drug for me.  And yet, I cannot get a single friend to go shopping with me on this holiest of all days.  I mean, it’s literally the most crazy, fun, buzziest shopping day of the year.  The day when I actually get grandma to babysit the kids so that my husband and I can go out nice and early and DO THIS SHIZ.  Yes, I am a serious, but really more fun, Black Friday shopper.

Sure, sure, most of my best shopping is done from small businesses, thrift stores, and vintage shops.  Absolutely do I believe in supporting these places FIRST and FOREMOST.  I mean, I OWN a small business now for crying out loud, so I must also believe in and support them.  But there’s just something about Black Friday that I just LOVE.  It’s like a club.  You go out early, dressed in your sweats (the cute ones of course), get a giant coffee, and you see each other and nod in silent solidarity.  We are the hardcore.  The ones willing to sacrifice an hour or two (or more if you’re one of the crazies who goes out at midnight) of precious sleep to score a DVD for a mere $5.  Does it matter that no one really buys DVDs anymore?  No.  It’s the fact that you are buying an actual MAJOR MOTION PICTURE for five buckaroos that gives you that little thrill and keeps you going.  That, and the giant coffee you’re toting around.  Um, refill please.

Before I move on to my day, which I will try and document with photos that are worthy of looking at, let me give you some background.  I am an only child.  You probably know this already, but I need you to know it for this post.  I was a very social person from day one, born to two people who would rather stay at home or go bird watching than go to a mall or a grocery store.  Yes, you heard me right. BIRD WATCHING.  Now this may be like totes hipster and cool and all these days, but guys…just no.  I wanted to be where the action was.  I would beg my mom to go somewhere, ANYWHERE (and NOT the library or the used bookstore, and if you knew my mom you’d understand why…ten hours later we are still at the xerox machine…) and yet, they’d usually stay home.  Boredom was my middle name.  My dad would balk at the idea of going Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and I would poke and prod until he’d drive me down there just so I could be where all the humans were.  My Christmases were me, getting toys, and then basically waiting until all my friends were done with their Christmases so I could actually PLAY with my new stuff.

Get some kleenex ready, because this is some good stuff right here.  I remember on Christmas Day, I would literally sit on the back of the couch, looking out the huge window in the front of the house we lived in.  I would watch the house down the street, where four siblings lived, receive car after car after car filled with PEOPLE getting out.  I remember wishing so hard that it hurt that it could be me over there.  Because…I LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE.  Honestly, I could buy like one thing and have the best black Friday ever.  Because the shopping is not even the best part of the day for me.  It’s just the fact that if I know where all of my kind will be on any given day, I will make it a point to be there.  It makes me feel like I’m part of the buzz.

SO HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY!  Here’s my day…broken down by steps for you! :)

Step one.  Set the alarm, MAKE myself leave that dream I was having and get in the shower, because, $9.99 jacket at H&M.  Shower, brush teeth, makeup, dress in layers, eggs, no coffee (no time).

Step two. Park, and jump out to claim my jacket and find a white blazer (SUCCESS!) and whatever other goodies may be on sale.  There are like four people in the store (thank you sleepy small town) so I am tempted to over dramatically scream GET OUTTA MY WAY and act like I’m warding off vicious shoppers, but because I’ve had no coffee yet, the amusement must stay imaginary.

Step three.  Get COFFEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.  Take a weird selfie in an alley way where a dog is watching me because…well, I don’t know why there was a dog eating something in an alley, but I’m too tired to answer this strange question.

Step four.  Head to Target, where all the people actually are to hunt for doorbuster, and SURPRISE! get sucked into the clothing section because with the Cartwheel app everything is 45% off.  So…clothes shopping it is.

Step five.  Go back downtown for some green juice and a sitting break.  Then hit up some random stores and find a place to eat some FOOD.  Ahhhhhhh…more caffeine.  Suck down that iced tea and THEN remember to take a photo of it (too tired to be an awesome instagrammer today).

Step six.  Take an awkward selfie in the bathroom, because the bathroom of this restaurant coordinates with my pants, and then take a photo of my husband who is always posing weird for photos in hopes that I will one day pay attention to the weird thing he is doing and actually take a photo of him instead of me.

Step seven.  Go home, drink more coffee, listen to the kids squawk in their cribs during “nap time” and asses the spoils.  Success, not much money spent, and heck to the yes I got that $9.99 jacket.  Now I’m ready for GILMORE GIRLS REVIVAL (!!) and bed.  Ahhhhh bed.

I love Black Friday.  Even the fact that the movie we were gonna see today was sold out, nothing can ruin my Black Friday buzz.

Sleep tight all you shopping warriors.  We done good.



Fashion Feelings: Opinions and That Pesky “Post” Button

Do you ever feel like you get overwhelmed with hearing what people have to say about, oh, I don’t know, EVERYTHING???  (I say this as I write a blog, post on Instagram, and participate in social media)  But for reals.  I try very hard to not add my opinion or feelings about things in general.  Unless those things are coffee (love it), sports (don’t get it), or clothing (I think you know).  You know what I mean.  Everything is a BIG THING nowadays, and everyone and their mom has an opinion on it.  Trust me, my mom is on Facebook talking about a LOT of stuff, so I speak from experience.  This phenomenon kind of baffles me at times because…has anyone ever stopped to ask…DOES IT WORK?

My mom is always on Facebook.  Most of the time, it ends in people not speaking to each other.  Uhhhhh…was it worth it?  I usually try and tell her to just NOT say something when someone doesn’t agree with her…but the urge to hit that beautiful “post” button is just too strong.  Yes, this social media thing is quite the temptation isn’t it?  To be quite frank, I think it’s rare to find another human being that agrees with you 100 percent.  But does that matter?  Not to me.  Oh man.  I feel like I’m tiptoeing around dangerous territory here.  So I will do just that.  Tiptoe.  Because I do have a point.

I can love someone without agreeing with them.  In fact, I think it’s kind of cool to be around people who are different from me.  Why?  It gives me perspective on life.  It reminds me that it’s the person that matters more than their opinions.  And that the “post” button is really just a fictitious thing that’s not the same as giving someone a hug and listening to what’s going on in their lives at that moment.  That is way better than the satisfaction of feeling like I need to be “right” by posting stuff on my wall.

I know this is kind of dangerous territory because it is very much NOT meant to demean anyone who likes to debate or feels like they are making a difference by doing that.  Because if you are, and that’s what you are meant to do, then more power to you!  It’s just something that I’ve found to affect me adversely and I’ve seen its effects in my own family so it’s something that I’ve decided not to do.  I can talk…A LOT.  And I’m learning the value of NOT talking when I need to listen or maybe not participate in a conversation.  I love people more than I love my own opinions.  And I have a lot of opinions!

Why not post a groovy 1970’s inspired outfit in juxtaposition to what I’m talking about right?  Because I know there is definitely a time to SPEAK UP and a time to be QUIET.  It’s all about knowing when the moment is right for which of those!  I’m all about dem stretchy velvet bells, yes you need a pair for thanksgiving (because turkey, gravy, stuffing, pie, muffin get what I’m saying).  I love these vintage sweaters that have leather sewn into them.  I found this one at a thrift store…it’s kind of like a leather jacket/sweater hybrid.

No matter what, hope you’re having an amazing week.  It’s Thanksgiving and we all have SO MUCH to be thankful for! :)

Fashion Feelings: Velvet California and New Things

By now you probably know I’m starting a clothing line and all that jazz.  I’ve talked about it before and I will probably be talking about it, well, for a long time.  And here I am, talking about it again, because it’s on my mind most of the time and it’s become a big part of my life!  I’m excited, naturally a little apprehensive, but forget about that, I’m diving in head first.  Because, I gotta.

Speaking of diving, I can’t do that.  I’m not good in water.  I may live near the beach, love going to the beach, but I don’t do water stuff very well at all.  I’m what a shark would refer to as: “the weakest link” or maybe just “bait”.  I think sharks talk about me…they say things like: “ohhhh look guys!  It’s a wounded seal!  Let’s go after that one!”  (don’t tell me that sharks don’t talk because I saw that documentary where the little fish got lost and his dad went all over looking for him)  So unless there’s a fruity drink with an umbrella and a large floatation device to lounge on, water doesn’t agree with me.  It wrecks my hair, gets in my nose, and I am a bad swimmer.  It all started when I was a child.  My dad informed me after asking me repeatedly what was wrong with me and why did I always have to hold my nose under the water (I still do that) that I am an “obligatory nose breather”.  We “obligatory nose breathers” (assuming there are other weirdos out there) cannot wear snorkel masks because, guess what?  They plug your nose, and then, we die.  Just kidding.  I just panic, rip it off my face, and act like someone was trying to suffocate me.  NBD.  Basically this whole “holding the nose” thing meant that diving was a no-go for me.  If you’ve ever tried to dive while holding your nose, you know it makes no sense.  There went my career as an Olympic diver.

I also am really freaked out by heights.  (Yes, I am aware I have a lot of issues).  My dad would always go off the high dive while I stood there and watched him, thinking “hell no, I won’t go”.  Then one day, my best friend convinced me to go with her.  No, I’m sorry, she bothered the living daylights out of me for about two hours in the pool until I was so miserable from her bugging me that I agreed.  Two hours of aggravated assault later, there I was, standing on the high dive, plotting how I could kill her if I lived to try.  I was terrified.  I don’t know if you’ve been on one of those things, but when you’re up there, it feels SO HIGH.  Finally, I jumped.  And you know what?  It was AMAZING.  We ended up spending the remainder of our time at the pool jumping off the high dive.  And good news, I totally lived to kill her.  Just kidding, she is alive and well, I promise!

I often am afraid of new things.  I don’t like not knowing what’s coming down the line, and starting things on my own?  Forget about it.  That’s a new thing for me.  But this time, I’m doing things differently, and I can’t wait to feel that feeling that I felt when I finally went off the high dive.  New things may be scary, but they can also be the most amazing things if you just take a flying leap, and of course, hold your nose.

My amazing friend made me this jumpsuit to celebrate the launch of my new line, Velvet California.  Gosh.  It’s so special to me.  Just the fact that it’s so personalized and meant for such a new time as this makes me so happy.  It makes me feel “outta this world”!  And I’m done with bad puns for the day…

Take a leap and don’t let the sharks bad mouth you…

Fashion Feelings: I Want To Go On Vacation

Yeah, don’t we all.  But I’m a mom.  And I really haven’t been a mom for all that long, I mean, my son only just turned four and I honestly have no clue how to go on vacation with children.  I mean…I get that it’s supposed to look different and all.  It’s not like kids know how to lay by the pool and chill and all, but still…like, how do you relax AT ALL with toddlers around?  Lately I’ve practically been chewing on my hair and desperately trying to bribe them to watch tv just so I can make dinner.  So vacation?  (hysterical laughter at the thought of this idea).

I get it.  It’s not a season in my life that involves a lot of downtime.  With starting a clothing line, which I’m super excited about (but is like having another child only without the massive weight gain and sugar cravings) and having two toddlers…there’s just no room in life for anything longer than an episode of Quantico.  And there it is.  It’s not time for a vacation.  But oh do I miss those glorious days.  The days when I had a chance to rest, get actual sleep, and read more than one book in two months.  Sigh.

I have come to the conclusion that in life, being honest with myself is really important.  Especially when it comes to my feelings.  And it’s really hard to be honest with yourself when you are a mom.  Every feeling seems “wrong” or maybe condemning in a way it really shouldn’t be.  Is it wrong that I want a break sometimes and miss having downtime?  No.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel that way though.  Plus, I know the minute I get it, I’ll probably miss my kids anyway, and they don’t make a pill for crazy last time I checked.  Or maybe they do…

I may not get a vacation right at this minute, but I will at some point in the future.  Hopefully nearer rather than farther future.  It may not be the same as it was before kids, and that may make me sad in some ways, but that’s okay.  I bet there will be new fun things that are different than before that will make up for the things I lost.  Because I’ve learned that all change involves a loss of some sort.  Even if it’s good change, sometimes I find myself mourning the loss of things I didn’t even know I liked or felt like I needed.  And I know this is all stuff I’ve talked about before, but it just felt relevant for the moment…so here I go again.  There are times in life where you feel like you’re working your tail off and could just use a break…and to be completely honest, it’s exhausting.  It’s exciting and tiring all at the same time.  And no one passes out medals for feeding your kids a healthy breakfast and cleaning up all the food they chucked on the floor!

It’s funny how often I find myself not being honest with…myself.  I try to stuff my feelings…because my kids are only young once right?  I should enjoy every minute, right?  Um, the minute my daughter bit her brother twice in the Costco shopping cart I wasn’t really enjoying motherhood.  I need to be real with myself.  There are SO MANY amazing, fun, hilarious, and awesome moments with my kids.  I love having toddlers.  And there are moments when I feel like I want to hide in the closet with wine, a box of something I don’t let myself eat, and an iPad, and stay there for, oh, a week.  And that’s just me telling myself the truth.  I will enjoy every minute, and the minutes I’m not enjoying, I’ll remind myself that I’m a PERSON, not just a MOM, and that it’s normal to not like cleaning up barf or having someone scream at you to pick up a toy when you haven’t eaten in three hours or taken a shower.  Because, duh, that’s just not nice and these little people can act like dictators sometimes!

Just because I can’t go on vacation right now doesn’t mean I can’t wear a vintage Hawaiian dress and pretend right?  I love the sleeves on this dress…they give you that “I believe I can fly” kind of feeling…and loafers.  Because, well, comfort and style are always a win!

Happy Wednesday all you beautiful people.  If you have kids, hope they’re treating you well.  If you have dogs, well, I know they are treating you well.  If you have cats, I’ll remind you that you signed up for that type of hostile behavior to begin with.  (guys, I love cats, but they’re just like that.)



Fashion Feelings: Mad For Plaid

Plaid is one of those prints that will never, ever be “out”.  It would be like saying: “black is out…” because no one would ever say that.  It’s a neutral, a basic, and a classic all rolled into one.  And I think it’s universally flattering, and obviously offers a variety of different color options.  It’s great for fall and winter, and can be played with in the warmer seasons as well.  And who out there hates a great flannel I ask you?  Okay, probably someone does, but those people are rare.  Kind of like those random people who “don’t like chocolate.”  What is THAT all about?!

When I think of plaid, my mind immediately goes here

Or here

Because no matter how long plaid has been around, it’s hard to separate it from the 90’s.  That’s when plaid wasn’t just “in”, it was IN.  Flannels became a form of outerwear instead of just a shirt you wore.  School girl uniforms became sexy thanks to Britney and Cher (from Clueless, I’m clearly not discussing Cher in real life).  It seems like plaid was everywhere in the 90’s.  I think maybe because I was becoming more aware of fashion during this time period, I have a very strong association with these moments in plaid…because they are what really introduced me to plaid as a fashion choice rather than something you just wore.

Now, during the 90’s, I most certainly did NOT dress cool.  I didn’t actually watch Clueless until after the 90’s were over and I never got to watch more than half an episode of My So Called Life.  My style choices during that time were dictated by an incredibly strict dress code on top of an incredibly strict couple of parents.  So, when it came to being in style, none of what you see above was what I was wearing.  I didn’t really experiment with wearing flannels until I was well out of college.  And one day, I put on a flannel over a striped dress and it was magic.  This was the first time I had EVER mixed patterns, and you know what?  I LOVED IT.  I remember trying the dress on with the flannel…feeling almost like I was doing it on a dare.  I was like “what if…I put THIS with THIS?  That would be SO CRAZY!”  I laugh about it now considering the weird things I put together, but at the time, it was a bold move.  And it WORKED!

I found this flannel plaid dress in the nightgown section of the thrift store (what on earth was it doing THERE?) and I love it because it’s just so holiday feeling.  It’s got such a full skirt and it’s so classy.  Plaid is one of those patterns, like leopard print, that I love in all pieces.  I love plaid tops and plaid bottoms, plaid dresses and plaid coats.  It works any way you slice it.

I have a sudden urge to dress like a Catholic schoolgirl.  Wonder where that came from…(thanks Britney).


Fashion Feelings: What I’ve Learned From Television

I watch a lot of tv shows.  I use the excuse that I didn’t have television when I was a kid (like cable tv, we had a television, but it was only used for like Disney movies and my parents’ National Geographic VHS tapes), but truth is, I love tv shows.  I meet new friends, go new places, and learn new things.  Yes, I said it, I learn new things.  And I don’t watch documentaries.  I watch mostly teen tv, sci fi,  mysteries, and comedies.  And I get educated from these, you guys.  I’m here to say, that television can be educational.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my hours of TV watching.

  1. I learned what FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) was from The X Files.  I also learned to trust no one, that aliens do exist, and that everything is a cover up.  TRUST NO ONE.
  2. I learned that the term “going commando” was coined on the show Friends.  I also learned that you definitely do not do that in another man’s fatigues.
  3. I learned who Paul Anka was from Gilmore Girls, since she named her dog after him.  I also learned that coffee is good, it makes you talk fast, and that is just fine with me.
  4. And from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, I learned how to wear fringe.  (They made a lot of crap up on that show, so I didn’t learn a whole lot else, except how to look far off in the distance and yell SULLLLLLLY really loudly).

And there you have it.  Parents, television is educational, so let your kids binge on Gossip Girl because you never know what they may learn.

So this is my Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman outfit.  It is inspired by Sully, who if you ever watched that show, will know was the dude with the really pretty blonde hair who thought he was a Native American, but probably just had a great spray tan.  This is the amazing tunic dress I got in the Halloween section at one the Goodwills by me.  I love this thing and while it is costume-y, I’m just going to be careful to accessorize it correctly (i.e. don’t wear my fringe boots with it unless I’m using this as a Sully costume) and that way, I can attempt to get minimal stares while I wear it.  (Some stares are always inevitable with my style).

I’m attempting to learn stuff from my fifth round though Pretty Little Liars, but you guys, I just get more paranoid and afraid of the letter A, so I’m not sure it’s the MOST educational…

Happy almost Friday y’all!