Jealousy. It’s one of those feelings that we all come across at one point or another. And is it just me, or has social media managed to feed the green-eyed monster and somehow made it…bigger and more accessible? It’s kind of the worst, yuckiest feeling, and yet…it still happens whether we like it or not. Today, I had a run in with the not-so-lovely feeling.
I was out and about, and I saw someone who I actually do not know personally. At all. But thanks to the magic of social media, I know quite a bit about her. At least, what she chooses to share that is (I feel like that always needs to be clarified, right?). So I saw her, and because I “know so much about her”, I found myself feeling jealous. Before I knew it, I was thinking things like: “wow it must be nice to be her…to have so much money…to be able to do and buy whatever she wants…” I mean, it took all of 3.5 seconds for my thoughts to escalate to this point where I was feeling angry with her. What on earth?? I was so repulsed by my thoughts and feelings…and yet I still had them. I really know NOTHING about her as a person. And yet, for 3.5 seconds, I was kinda sorta actively hating her. Wow. I’ve found that it’s gotten easier and easier for me to forgive people for being judgmental and mean at times because, hi, my name is Katy, and I sometimes have judgmental and mean thoughts. Yep. I’m no better than anyone else. My world has been rocked, yet again!
So in the moment I was jealous of this poor girl who had no idea I was directing laser beam thoughts of hate at her, I didn’t think for a second about who she was, what her life is/has been like, or what she’s been through. I have no idea. I mean really, I have NO IDEA. I don’t know her story. I mean, for all I know, she could have had a very difficult life up to this point. I REALLY DON’T KNOW, and that’s the problem with jealousy. I don’t know what it’s like to be her, what she feels, and who she is as a human. Picture this. What if you took a homeless person who had been through hell, and overnight made her a multimillionaire. You gave her a brand new Range Rover, an expensive makeover, and all the right social media photos. I bet you anything, people would say those exact things I had thought earlier today. “wow, it must be nice to be her!” IS IT? Gosh we really DON’T KNOW, do we?? Sure, there are some people who do seem to live a sort of “charmed life”, but no matter what, we do not know what it’s like to live from their perspective. I talked myself down from hate laser beams quickly…once I realized how out of hand my thinking had become.
Regardless, her story is not my story. Sure, she has stuff I want. That’s a normal, natural part of life. Just because she has it, doesn’t mean I can’t have it. There’s enough to go around. But my story, my timeline, and my path is not hers, and it would be better if I could focus on MY story instead of looking over at hers and wishing that it was mine. Easier said than done, but it’s something I remind myself of often. None of us are immune from jealousy, and all of us are guilty from time to time of coveting someone else position in life. Eyes forward, encourage each other, and keep moving forward. That’s what we have to do. Because looking at each other isn’t really forward is it…it’s more like trying to hop the fence and go sideways.
Gotta wear my attitude like want to wear my clothes. Boldly and with grace.
My good friend found me this top from her friend up in San Francisco, Souls of California (she has the BEST vintage!) and it’s insane. It’s drapey and fringy and all the things I love! I put it with vintage Levi’s, thrifted braided huarache like sandals and this amazing white turquoise necklace handmade by DesertMermaid.
Hope you are loving living YOUR story this week! I’m working on that right now… ;)