On “Flaws” and Not Paying Attention To Them

I could be wrong, but I feel like no one really actually “loves” their flaws.  Tolerates, learns to minimize, and even appreciates maybe, but “loves”?  That’s a mighty strong word when it comes to being a woman and looking at things you consider “flaws”.  Now I get it…the word “flaw” can mean things like “an asymmetrical face” or “lots of freckles”.  That’s a little bit like cheating in my opinion because those things aren’t necessarily “flaws”, they’re more like “unique features”.  However, I do understand how those things could be seen as flaws to the owner of them!!  It’s just girl life though…we see a lot of “flaws” that aren’t really flaws, they’re really just things that make us uniquely us.

Obviously everyone’s body type is different.  It always amazes me how something can look so great on one person, and then the next girl who tries it on looks five months pregnant.  Yeah, sometimes it just sucks to be a girl huh??  Of course it’s best to try and dress to flatter your body, but there are exceptions to this rule.  Something that I’ve learned from time working at a clothing store, is that when a girl walks out of a fitting room and asks: “what do you think?” the best thing to do is to read her cues.  I mean, there have been times when someone walks out dressed in something that doesn’t fit exactly right and it’s not necessarily the optimal piece of clothing for her body…but she’s lit up like a christmas tree when she says: “what do you think?”  You can just see the excitement on her face and that she is absolutely thrilled with this thing she is wearing.  In those cases, I say: “I think it looks incredible.”  Is this a lie?  No.  Because she’s totally owning that piece of clothing.  She’s happy, glowing, and excited to wear it.  Therefore, she looks beautiful in it.  There are times when women walk out and ask this same question…and I can tell they are unsure.  That’s when I will feel the freedom to offer suggestions…”do you feel like it fits you right?  Is it pulling on your arms?” those kinds of things because in these cases I can tell there are currently doubts in her mind and she’s asking for me to look with a more critical eye.

The worst though is when you see two girls shopping together and one is shooting down every single item that makes her friend light up.  I absolutely hate to see this happen because you can see how it affects the body image of the girl who’s getting the constant criticism.  Suddenly her “flaws” become larger and larger in her eyes.  That top gives her fat arm.  That dress gives her a back roll.  Those pants are ugly.  She is now fully aware of her “flaws” instead of just enjoying her hunt…instead of being creative and seeing things on her the way SHE wants to see them.  Who cares if it gives her “fat arm”?  Does SHE like it on herself?  Ladies, we may not “love” our “flaws”, but if we stop looking at them so much they will get smaller!!!

This outfit is not the optimal for my body.  This vintage kimono robe totally gives me “fat arm” (you can tell I have been educated in the previous type of exchange!) and this dress kind of doesn’t flatter my tummy in the best way.  But I don’t care.  When I put it on, all I see are the beautiful colors and how it makes me feel.  So take that “flaws”.  I’m not looking at you!

The kimono is totally a robe thrifted from Goodwill (HERE’S another lace edged one).  The dress is MinkPink, but I thrifted it at Crossroads Trading Co. in Santa Barbara (similar HERE).  The boots are my Frye cowboy boots I’ve had for years (similar HERE) and the necklace I got on sale at Free People but it’s by this amazing company Sun and Glory.   It’s not available anymore, but GOOD NEWS!  THIS ONE is a straight copy and under $25. :)

I hope you’re not looking at your “flaws”.  Because I’m pretty sure you don’t have any :)

4 thoughts on “On “Flaws” and Not Paying Attention To Them”

    1. Oh my gosh I HATE the fat arm!!!! I think ALL women experience this phenomenon regardless of the size of their arms! It’s the worst!!

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