I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to feel like myself. I think because lately, I’ve actually been starting to feel more and more like me for the first time in a LONG time. The me that has been buried deep down under the me that had been trying so hard to be someone else without even realizing it. We went to see Jurassic World the other day and I felt like me again. I remembered how I am not really the cool girl who loves The Bachelorette, but rather the girl who loves sic fi and dinosaurs and can’t wait for the new Star Wars movie. I am the girl who once had almost the entire Monty Python and The Holy Grail movie memorized and still can quote so many tv shows it’s like I have a database in my brain. And yes, I still have all my old Juicy outfits. I know they’re not in style and probably will never be again, but I still love them.
I think I spent a long time fighting that part of myself without even knowing I was. I bleached my hair Jessica Simpson blonde for 10 years. I kept the fact that I was so excited about each new Harry Potter book that I could hardly sleep the night before the release on the down low. I tried so hard to disavow all the “dorky” things about me that when my husband and I went to see Star Trek and I knew more about it than he did, he was shocked. I kind of was too.
I love clothes and things that make me feel cool and all that, but honestly, I had posted literally probably four selfies in my entire social media lifetime before doing all of this. I think I just kind of wanted to hide from the universe because I didn’t feel good enough to post anything about myself. Not like I feel “good” enough really still, but now I think after hiding for so long I’m ready to just be myself and not worry (as much) about what people think about it. I’m no longer trying to be “in with the cool kids” or whatever. So here is my 2001 ghetto Juicy Couture post in my furry Target slippers. Because this is my comfy, wear-around-the-house, mom uniform and it makes me feel pretty great. It’s bright, a romper, and straight from the days with Jennifer Lopez was Jenny From the Block. Kickin it old school and I like it. I will resume posting what I consider to be cool clothes tomorrow, but today, I’m just gonna be me…goofy, no good at selfies or posing, still losing weight, definitely going to see the new Star Wars on opening day, and lover of pretty much all dinosaur movies.
Yep Juicy Couture people…I’m for reals on this one. I kind of can’t even believe I’m posting this, but hey, I gotta be real sometime otherwise I’m gonna feel like I’m once again trying to be something I’m not. I got two little kids and most of the time I’m not in fun amazing clothes, I’m in clothes I can cook and clean and hold babies in. And relax on the couch and watch more tv to reload my brain database with.
Happy Sunday all you super cool kids