Sometimes in California, it seems that we barely get winter. We often head straight from summer into indian summer…and then we get like a few days of “cooler weather”, and we are right back where we started in warm temperatures. I’d say it’s been like that for the past few years here on the Central Coast. We all buy sweaters and jackets and there are a few bold enough to attempt a pea coat or trench coat (usually the attempts are in vain) and then we stare at our closets, dripping sweat, and wonder why on earth we thought it was a good idea to buy cashmere. You know the story, we got caught up watching Gossip Girl reruns and had visions of tights and scarves, then came crashing back to reality that you can’t dress like that when it’s 75 outside. That’s the norm I’d say around here.
However, that is not the case this year. On the contrary, we are actually getting our winter. My rain boots have been worn more in the past few months than they have over the entire time I’ve owned them. No exaggeration. Sure, we’ve had a few glorious days that feel like spring, but they are bookended with rain, and LOTS to it. There’s dams breaking and flooding and mud sliding…all the things that you typically DON’T associate with California…where literally six months ago people were STANDING IN the bone dry lake taking Instagram photos. And after all that waiting for rain and wondering if we’d ever have a winter again, how do you think it makes us feel? Yeah. For the most part, we are all just waiting for spring.
I’m not going to use this post to complain about the weather, no, I’m really talking about the seasons more as a metaphor than anything else. Because, OBVIOUSLY the rain won’t last forever, and it’s not even all that bad compared to other parts of the world. What I’m talking about is waiting for newness. Most of the time, I feel like I am surrounded by people who are waiting for a change to happen. You can hear it in their conversations as you pass by, you can sense it in them…that urgency to move past something, be it school or a temporary job, to get to where they are going. Sure, that’s kind of part of life. A lot of life is spent in waiting rooms, boring classes, jobs we aren’t excited about, grocery store lines…that’s normal. I’m not really talking about THAT kind of waiting. I’m talking about the WAITING. You know, that deep-down-in-your-soul waiting that you can’t talk about without either getting so fired up that you can’t stop thinking about it OR you completely dissolve into tears because you “just can’t” anymore? THAT kind of waiting. It’s the kind where you desperately want to get pregnant and have been waiting for what feels like your whole life to be a mom. It’s the kind where you just KNOW that there’s a job or a purpose for you outside of working at a dead end job filled with busy work you could not care less about. THAT kind of waiting. Waiting for spring to come.
I must confess that I have had this kind of waiting in me my whole life. It’s very painful to even admit that sometimes, because it means I’m still doing it. It started when I was a child (because I grew up with parents who were “waiting” and unfortunately they passed their torch to me at a very young age in that area). I was more of a grown up child, who wished and hoped to solve everything for my parents at an age when I should have been more concerned with what the hot new toy was rather than my dad’s income comparative to the home prices in our town. So even as a child, I was waiting for something that was not my responsibility to wait for. That sucks. Because now as an adult, instead of waiting for a “normal” amount of adult years, it’s mostly feels like I came out of the womb with a burden, not only to change things for myself, but to fix it for everyone around me. And trust me, I’m not the only one suffering from this kind of waiting here.
So what do you do with this kind of waiting? To be honest, on days like today, I feel like it is actually going to crush me. What then? Do you just put on your winter parka and decide that winter will last forever? Do you just hunker down and accept it? No. You put on your spring clothes. It may be freezing (so maybe don’t LITERALLY do that if you’re in a snowy climate, okay?) and it may feel VERY VERY WRONG. People may stare at you. They may even ask you why you’re dressed for spring when it’s CLEARLY still winter outside. And you tell them: “because spring is right around the corner, and I want to be ready for it when it comes”. Do you get what I’m saying? Emotionally, we need to “dress” for spring time. Because the winter won’t last forever. Seasons change, and believe me, I know people who are living in spring time and they are still bundled up for the deep freeze. They’re scared to change their emotional attitudes because they believe it’s still winter time.
On a lighter note, I am quite guilty of dressing for the season I WANT it to be, rather than the one I am currently in. I think it’s partly just my creative nature, and partly the fact that most of the time if someone tells me something is impossible I tend to take that as a challenge. Dressing for the wrong season is my forte, quite literally. Days like today, I humbly admit that I’ve been in my parka all day long even though the weather has been beautiful. I have gotten it all wrong and it’s time to put on my cropped floral pants and say screw that, I’m dressing for spring!
Who’s with me?
Pants: Vintage, similar HERE (and on clearance!)
Top: Old Urban Outfitters, similar HERE
Combat Boots: Jeffrey Campbell, similar HERE (and a screaming deal too!)
Earrings: H&M in store, black version HERE