Black Friday. It’s like a drug for me. And yet, I cannot get a single friend to go shopping with me on this holiest of all days. I mean, it’s literally the most crazy, fun, buzziest shopping day of the year. The day when I actually get grandma to babysit the kids so that my husband and I can go out nice and early and DO THIS SHIZ. Yes, I am a serious, but really more fun, Black Friday shopper.
Sure, sure, most of my best shopping is done from small businesses, thrift stores, and vintage shops. Absolutely do I believe in supporting these places FIRST and FOREMOST. I mean, I OWN a small business now for crying out loud, so I must also believe in and support them. But there’s just something about Black Friday that I just LOVE. It’s like a club. You go out early, dressed in your sweats (the cute ones of course), get a giant coffee, and you see each other and nod in silent solidarity. We are the hardcore. The ones willing to sacrifice an hour or two (or more if you’re one of the crazies who goes out at midnight) of precious sleep to score a DVD for a mere $5. Does it matter that no one really buys DVDs anymore? No. It’s the fact that you are buying an actual MAJOR MOTION PICTURE for five buckaroos that gives you that little thrill and keeps you going. That, and the giant coffee you’re toting around. Um, refill please.
Before I move on to my day, which I will try and document with photos that are worthy of looking at, let me give you some background. I am an only child. You probably know this already, but I need you to know it for this post. I was a very social person from day one, born to two people who would rather stay at home or go bird watching than go to a mall or a grocery store. Yes, you heard me right. BIRD WATCHING. Now this may be like totes hipster and cool and all these days, but guys…just no. I wanted to be where the action was. I would beg my mom to go somewhere, ANYWHERE (and NOT the library or the used bookstore, and if you knew my mom you’d understand why…ten hours later we are still at the xerox machine…) and yet, they’d usually stay home. Boredom was my middle name. My dad would balk at the idea of going Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and I would poke and prod until he’d drive me down there just so I could be where all the humans were. My Christmases were me, getting toys, and then basically waiting until all my friends were done with their Christmases so I could actually PLAY with my new stuff.
Get some kleenex ready, because this is some good stuff right here. I remember on Christmas Day, I would literally sit on the back of the couch, looking out the huge window in the front of the house we lived in. I would watch the house down the street, where four siblings lived, receive car after car after car filled with PEOPLE getting out. I remember wishing so hard that it hurt that it could be me over there. Because…I LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE. Honestly, I could buy like one thing and have the best black Friday ever. Because the shopping is not even the best part of the day for me. It’s just the fact that if I know where all of my kind will be on any given day, I will make it a point to be there. It makes me feel like I’m part of the buzz.
SO HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY! Here’s my day…broken down by steps for you! :)
Step one. Set the alarm, MAKE myself leave that dream I was having and get in the shower, because, $9.99 jacket at H&M. Shower, brush teeth, makeup, dress in layers, eggs, no coffee (no time).
Step two. Park, and jump out to claim my jacket and find a white blazer (SUCCESS!) and whatever other goodies may be on sale. There are like four people in the store (thank you sleepy small town) so I am tempted to over dramatically scream GET OUTTA MY WAY and act like I’m warding off vicious shoppers, but because I’ve had no coffee yet, the amusement must stay imaginary.
Step three. Get COFFEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Take a weird selfie in an alley way where a dog is watching me because…well, I don’t know why there was a dog eating something in an alley, but I’m too tired to answer this strange question.
Step four. Head to Target, where all the people actually are to hunt for doorbuster, and SURPRISE! get sucked into the clothing section because with the Cartwheel app everything is 45% off. So…clothes shopping it is.
Step five. Go back downtown for some green juice and a sitting break. Then hit up some random stores and find a place to eat some FOOD. Ahhhhhhh…more caffeine. Suck down that iced tea and THEN remember to take a photo of it (too tired to be an awesome instagrammer today).
Step six. Take an awkward selfie in the bathroom, because the bathroom of this restaurant coordinates with my pants, and then take a photo of my husband who is always posing weird for photos in hopes that I will one day pay attention to the weird thing he is doing and actually take a photo of him instead of me.
Step seven. Go home, drink more coffee, listen to the kids squawk in their cribs during “nap time” and asses the spoils. Success, not much money spent, and heck to the yes I got that $9.99 jacket. Now I’m ready for GILMORE GIRLS REVIVAL (!!) and bed. Ahhhhh bed.
I love Black Friday. Even the fact that the movie we were gonna see today was sold out, nothing can ruin my Black Friday buzz.
Sleep tight all you shopping warriors. We done good.