The complete title of this post should really read: “How To Dress Like You’re Going To A Music Festival…When You Don’t Even Know The Lineup” but that was too long to fit in the title space. So now you know what you’re in for. I just have to get something off my chest, this is a real life confession, and you may just not like me as much for it but I gotta be honest. Here goes. Deep breath.
I don’t think I’d like music festivals. If someone handed me a wad of cash and a nanny for three days and said: “Here you go! Go to Coachella!” I would quite honestly head straight to Disneyland and have the best three days ever. I am quite certain, as much as I LOVE MUSIC, that music festivals are most likely not for me. Plus, I’m really more of a Shawn Mendes person than Modest Mouse and I don’t run with the “hip” music crowd, I’ll listen to vintage Britney any day over John Legend. And now you like me even less don’t you. Oh well. In the words of the great philosopher, “I am what I am.” And I most definitely would probably LOVE green eggs and ham, FYI.
All this being said, I must share with you that my music festival resume, per say, is quite limited. So, there is a chance I would enjoy such a thing. As long as camping is not involved. Oh, and there’s air conditioning or a beach nearby. And we’re back…
When I was in high school, my parents took me to a Christian Music Festival called Spirit West Coast that was basically the “safer” version of your average festival. I put the word “safe” in quotes because to be honest, I don’t know much about regular music festivals and I also know better than to just automatically assume that anything Christian is automatically “safe”. That being said, it was definitely tamer than most concerts could get, but it had a lot of elements that I would imagine any music festival would hold. TONS of people. Check. Moving like herds of cattle over bridges and funneling slowly but surely (and noisily) into concert venues, all the while baking in the hot merciless sunshine. NOISE, noise, and more noise. Check. We did camp (see, I HAVE camped in my life A LOT before you guys!) when we went one year, and the relentless high school girl high pitched screaming went on for the full 24 hours. Also, people bringing their own instruments and trying to participate in the festival at midnight. This is not appreciated, BTW. HEAT, DIRT, and crappy food. Check. It’s mandatory that you receive at the very least a medium intensity sunburn despite the pounds of sunscreen you apply. Also, you must be covered in a fine film of dust all the while sucking down sodas and eating something that was once food and has now been fried in something that was once considered oil. Gross. Exhaustion by mid afternoon, but desperately loading up on sugar and caffeine so you can make it to the headliner. Which is the whole reason you are enduring this business to begin with. Check. Time for another confession. I most definitely planned on meeting and marrying one of the guys from the band DC Talk (anyone remember them? Hello children of the 90s!) so I made it my mission to see ALL of their concerts. And then I finally got up close to the stage, close enough to touch him, and then realized he was about…three quarters of my size. Sigh. The man of my high school dreams was a pint sized human being with a voice the size of Texas. Drat. My dream died right there (because you know his stature was the main thing keeping us apart…ah forbidden love) but my mission to see them in concert did not. The days spent as sunbaked fried food eating cattle were mostly about seeing as many concerts that I may or may not care about, all to stay alert for DC Talk. Worth it? Sure…why not.
The memory highlight of this festival experience was seeing Katy Perry (at that time she was Katy Hudson) running around with her friends (I had met her that year at a local church) and later remembering this and telling it as my “celebrity anecdote”…how I “knew her” (met her) before she kissed a girl and liked it.
There’s a big “but” coming after all this. Not a big BUTT, a big BUT. I love dressing like I’m going to a music festival. Because it’s okay to dress like it and not go. Here are some small guidelines to adhere to, so that you can get questions like “oh are you going to Coachella?” when you’re really just buying the ingredients for shepherd’s pie. (I speak from experience).
- FRINGE. Go with the fringy boots, ALWAYS. Because you always want to protect your feet from the dirt at music festivals and regardless of what you’re doing, the fringe is swishy and fun to walk in.
- FEATHERS. Yes, you CAN wear fringe and feathers in the same outfit as long as you play it cool. Go with fringe boots and feather earrings for example. You have the rest of your outfit as a buffer for the fact that you may be twinning with Steven Tyler.
- CUT OFFS. The essential festival wear is also the essential summer wear, so keep em guessing. The great news is that if you’re not comfortable with booty shorts, get a good pair of loose-ish jeans (just make sure they’re loose in the thigh area so you have the freedom to roll them up if you want AND they won’t give you a thigh bulge!) and cut them off at the height you want them. I recommend cutting them at a slight angle up from the inner thigh to the outer thigh…so they’re a teeny tiny bit shorter at the outside than the inside. Again, they DO NOT have to be shorty shorts. But this slight angle gives a more flattering look to them.
- IX-NAY ON THE GLITTER. Sorry guys. I love glitter, and I would totally wear it on a daily basis, but ONLY with a simpler outfit. If you wear glitter, glitter tattoos, or henna tattoos, you will be in FULL festival mode and this is where it gets a tad sketchy when you’re just picking up your kids from school. Don’t get me wrong. You can do it if you want to, but you are entering costume territory and will get stared at and get asked about your favorite Radiohead song. And to that question, I have no answer except I love Justin Bieber.
Shameless self promotion time. This duster is the newest piece from Velvet California (my clothing line baby!) and I love it. I’m modeling the prototype and it’s coming soon to the site! I hope you love it too! :)
Oh, if you don’t have three layer fringe Minnetonka boots, get them. In multiple colors :)