Does This Sweater Make Me Look Fat? (and other things I don’t care about)

Man repelling clothes.  We’ve talked about them before, and I assuredly will talk about them again.  Like today.  I went into one of my favorite second hand/vintage stores downtown, and I found this amazing Free People sweater.  Let me clarify “amazing” because the word can have a multitude of meanings, right?  Sometimes “amazing” can mean delicate, intricate, and like a work of art.  Sometimes “amazing” can mean beautiful, flattering, and comfortable all at the same time.  And then other times, “amazing” can mean “it’s a freaking snuggie that’s socially acceptable to wear in public.”  In this case, I clearly mean the latter of these three definitions.

And when you find the equivalent of a wearable blanket made by Free People (this is actually more common of a find than you may think), what do you do?  You try it on.  Then you examine yourself from all angles, discover that it’s not flattering, and THEN what do you do?  Buy it anyway because somehow, wearing a giant knit poncho dress makes you feel like 67% cooler than you actually are…plus, who cares if it’s flattering or not because you can totally eat a bagel before wearing it and no one will ever know.  Yes, you are, AN EVIL GENIUS WHO CAN SNEAKILY EAT CARBS AND STILL LOOK COOL.  Free People may not be the best brand in the world, but thank goodness for their influence on style because there are some days you just don’t wanna suck it in all day long.

I find that there are some women who care more about the way things look, and some who care more about the way things look ON their bodies.  And then some, like me, care about both, but it greatly depends on the day you ask me.  Most of the time however, I will forgo the “this isn’t the MOST flattering for my body” voice in my head and just wear whatever it is just because I love it.  Hence, I bought the wearable blanket.  And yes, I will be wearing it regularly in a variety of ways.

Maybe you’re afraid of oversized sweaters, and that’s ok.  But in case you really want to try one and aren’t sure how…here are a few tips on things that pair well with the snuggie swaps you find out there:

  1. Pair them with everything else fitted.  Do not wear other baggy items of clothing with that giant blanket, but that’s kind of a no-brainer, isn’t it?
  2. If the sweater is long enough to cover your rear, go pants-less.  Please, please wear underwear and maybe a pair of shorts if the sweater is on the short side…we don’t need any “uh oh” moments that are R rated.
  3. Wear that giant thing over a collared shirt and bunch the sleeves up.  That gives it a kind of “preppy J Crew” vibe.
  4. Wear with a slip dress or something lacy under it.  That way, you’re balancing out the boxy oversized knit with something delicate.
  5. If all else fails, put on a beanie, giant oversized glasses, and channel Mary Kate and Ashley. 

And there you have it.  I’m wearing a blanket, and it’s somehow normal.  Ahhhhh I love being cozy in the winter time!

Happy giant sweater weather
Katy