Fashion Feelings: Tiny Annoying Setbacks

Seriously you guys, my life is like one perpetual diet.  And I’m not referring to the fact that I eat healthy.  No, no, that is something I do because I like to do it.  I eat salads instead of fries and acai bowls instead of ice cream because I actually feel better when I do.  What I’m referring to is the calorie counting and the not splurging on even healthy treats.  That’s what I’m talking about.  Yes, it’s called #momlife and the fact that I just don’t get to get as much sleep as I’d like, I tend to run out of energy from changing multiple diapers, cleaning up toys, and loading and unloading kids into car seats…and for all of these things, my body wants MORE FOOD.  So you want to know what happens?  I get into a routine.  I have a great week where I’ve worked out every day, my calories have been #onpoint, and I’m just #killingit.  (sorry for all the hashtags, it’s hard to stop once you start). And then…one of the kids gives me a mild tummy bug, a cold, or wakes up in the middle of the night and BOOM.  Routine destroyed.  #fail.  (#sorrynotsorry omg how do I turn it off??)

It drives me crazy.  I get frustrated because my typical iron clad low carb routine dissolves into me having to eat toast because my stomach is messed up, not working out because I have middle-of-the-night-toddler-freak-out exhaustion, or just overall eating more than I should because I don’t have the time to pay attention to my calorie count.  Or I’m just tired and hungry.  So I eat a little extra. Sure, sure, I need to give myself grace.  I know, I’m crazy hard on myself often when it comes to this stuff, so let’s try to focus on the point I’m making and not that I’m just plain crazy.  Crazy hard on myself or crazy…it’s all about the same thing!

My kids are young.  And it’s so fun to have young kids.  They’re so freaking cute.  But this often causes small “setbacks” in my routine.  It forces me to be okay with some weeks being “bad diet” weeks.  Even though I try my darnedest…sometimes I just need an acai bowl on a day I didn’t work out.  (I know you’re like “Oh my GOSH Katy you’re SO CRAZY!” #sarcasm)  But this is kind of the truth about being a mom at times.  You have to let go of the things you once held dear.  Your precious schedule.

Even though it is hard, and my feelings of frustration are valid, I think it’s kind of good for me at times to just do my best to be okay with who I am right now.  Yes, I will keep working on that dang last ten pounds until I can kick them (and I WILL kick them), but it’s good for me to learn to accept who I am at the moment.  I’m a mom.  I have more of a “mom body” than I used to, and some of that will always remain, weight lost or not.  I have stretch marks.  And sometimes, I won’t be able to stick to my routine.  That needs to be okay with me, because life is about more than just being hyper disciplined, as good as discipline is.

I’m thankful for clothes like this, because you know what?  They always look good.  I don’t have to be having a “thin day” to wear them and feel great about myself.  This cocoon wrap is from Aavintedge, and her mom (@modmelrose) is just about the coolest seamstress EVER.  My gosh, I want so much more of her stuff.  Scratch that.  I basically want everything she makes.  She uses vintage fabrics and makes the best stuff out of them.  And then there’s stretch velvet bell bottoms.  Go get yourself a custom pair, why don’t ya?  Because everyone needs more velvet in their lives ;)

Eat a donut for me will ya?
Katy

Fashion Feelings: I Want To Go On Vacation

Yeah, don’t we all.  But I’m a mom.  And I really haven’t been a mom for all that long, I mean, my son only just turned four and I honestly have no clue how to go on vacation with children.  I mean…I get that it’s supposed to look different and all.  It’s not like kids know how to lay by the pool and chill and all, but still…like, how do you relax AT ALL with toddlers around?  Lately I’ve practically been chewing on my hair and desperately trying to bribe them to watch tv just so I can make dinner.  So vacation?  (hysterical laughter at the thought of this idea).

I get it.  It’s not a season in my life that involves a lot of downtime.  With starting a clothing line, which I’m super excited about (but is like having another child only without the massive weight gain and sugar cravings) and having two toddlers…there’s just no room in life for anything longer than an episode of Quantico.  And there it is.  It’s not time for a vacation.  But oh do I miss those glorious days.  The days when I had a chance to rest, get actual sleep, and read more than one book in two months.  Sigh.

I have come to the conclusion that in life, being honest with myself is really important.  Especially when it comes to my feelings.  And it’s really hard to be honest with yourself when you are a mom.  Every feeling seems “wrong” or maybe condemning in a way it really shouldn’t be.  Is it wrong that I want a break sometimes and miss having downtime?  No.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel that way though.  Plus, I know the minute I get it, I’ll probably miss my kids anyway, and they don’t make a pill for crazy last time I checked.  Or maybe they do…

I may not get a vacation right at this minute, but I will at some point in the future.  Hopefully nearer rather than farther future.  It may not be the same as it was before kids, and that may make me sad in some ways, but that’s okay.  I bet there will be new fun things that are different than before that will make up for the things I lost.  Because I’ve learned that all change involves a loss of some sort.  Even if it’s good change, sometimes I find myself mourning the loss of things I didn’t even know I liked or felt like I needed.  And I know this is all stuff I’ve talked about before, but it just felt relevant for the moment…so here I go again.  There are times in life where you feel like you’re working your tail off and could just use a break…and to be completely honest, it’s exhausting.  It’s exciting and tiring all at the same time.  And no one passes out medals for feeding your kids a healthy breakfast and cleaning up all the food they chucked on the floor!

It’s funny how often I find myself not being honest with…myself.  I try to stuff my feelings…because my kids are only young once right?  I should enjoy every minute, right?  Um, the minute my daughter bit her brother twice in the Costco shopping cart I wasn’t really enjoying motherhood.  I need to be real with myself.  There are SO MANY amazing, fun, hilarious, and awesome moments with my kids.  I love having toddlers.  And there are moments when I feel like I want to hide in the closet with wine, a box of something I don’t let myself eat, and an iPad, and stay there for, oh, a week.  And that’s just me telling myself the truth.  I will enjoy every minute, and the minutes I’m not enjoying, I’ll remind myself that I’m a PERSON, not just a MOM, and that it’s normal to not like cleaning up barf or having someone scream at you to pick up a toy when you haven’t eaten in three hours or taken a shower.  Because, duh, that’s just not nice and these little people can act like dictators sometimes!

Just because I can’t go on vacation right now doesn’t mean I can’t wear a vintage Hawaiian dress and pretend right?  I love the sleeves on this dress…they give you that “I believe I can fly” kind of feeling…and loafers.  Because, well, comfort and style are always a win!

Happy Wednesday all you beautiful people.  If you have kids, hope they’re treating you well.  If you have dogs, well, I know they are treating you well.  If you have cats, I’ll remind you that you signed up for that type of hostile behavior to begin with.  (guys, I love cats, but they’re just like that.)

Katy

 

Fashion Feelings: Capes, and (not) Being Supermom

There’s always someone out there with an opinion on whether women can “have it all”.  I’m not here to give my opinion on this idea, however, it was what inspired me to write this, so it has to bear some sort of weight in this post.  I think it’s hard to even give an answer to that plaguing question “can I have it all?” because it’s so highly dependent on what “all” means to you.  I think some women define having it “all” as working and having kids.  Other women would feel slighted by this, and would say that’s not “having it all”, but rather staying home with their children is “all”.  So I’m not going to answer this because there just is no hard and fast answer.  But I think all of us out there with kids are still trying to be supermom, and yes, we are all probably “failing” in our own minds to have it all…whatever that means to us.

I never intended on staying home full time with my children.  That being said, I’m very thankful that I got the chance to do this.  I loved my job and I know that having small amounts of time to focus on other things (other than my children) makes me a better mom.  But given the circumstances of our life at the time that I had my second baby, it would have been a drain on our family and it would have been more hurtful than helpful for us.  So I stayed home, and tried to be supermom.  But that cape is a heavy mantle for me.

For me, I am one of those people who thrives with a job, with a creative passion, and with other creative people around me.  I’m a nerd who loves meetings, organization, and colored tabs in my binders.  Motherhood comes with no binders, and if it did, my kids would promptly smear them with chocolate and destroy them with crayons.  I am not a person that thrives in the chaos of a messy home.  I constantly remind myself that kids need to be messy and that letting go of always having things clean will help me enjoy life more.  But this is a struggle for me.  I wouldn’t trade the time I have at home with my kids for any job, period.  It is priceless.  But that doesn’t mean that it’s not hard.  I often feel stir crazy, crazy exhausted, and just plain crazy.  I am not a great crafting mom, Pinterest mom, or creative mom.  I’m working hard on these things, but it doesn’t come naturally to me.  Speaking in front of people comes naturally to me, but helping my kids with a puzzle pulls muscles in my brain.  It’s funny how natural it is just just love and adore your children…and somehow you think that once you give birth it will also be perfectly natural to know how to make a Disney princess cake from scratch on their birthdays.  For me that is not so.

I am not supermom.  I see a lot of supermoms on Instagram, but I’m going to bet that by their own volition they are most definitely NOT supermoms.  Some days I have to remind myself that I can’t even be a semi decent mom if I don’t take some time away to breathe and do something for myself…let alone be supermom.  There are certain things I think I’m not bad at when it comes to mom-ing.  I cook a lot, I love talking to my kids and reading them stories, singing to them, and shopping with them (big surprise there) and I will be an EXCELLENT Disneyland ride buddy mom.  But crafting?  Getting messy and doing things that I can tell will require extensive vacuuming later?  Playing board games and puzzles?  Not easy for me.  I’ll get there.  But supermom I am not.  I can still wear a cape though, that’s allowed, right?

Capes are making a comeback and if you want to know more about their fashion history, check out this Vogue.com article with some really cool photos.  I got this velvet cape because it is perfect for semi-cool weather (which is something we have a lot over here) and I’ll most likely be wearing it most with jeans or shorts.  Velvet is one of those fabrics that can go SUPER fancy, so pairing it with denim is always an easy way to daytime-it-up.

After all my extensive hair-pulling-out, self shaming, and unashamed comparison on social media, I can only conclude one thing.  Supermom does not exist.  It is a myth that we keep alive in our brains, primarily to torture ourselves.  Kind of like the tooth fairy where we’d actually go to great lengths to TRY and lose teeth (so gross) just to make a couple of bucks.  And in light of this, I will SAY I will stop tormenting myself with images of perfect family photos and event quality birthday parties, but the truth is, I most likely still will.  I am human after all and it comes with the “mom territory” to automatically feel like a failure when things don’t look picturesque.  And with toddlers, most things are covered in crayon scribbles and not in like a cute Instagramable way.

And now, back to the toddler arguments.  And those things are endless.  Happy Friday
Katy

Fashion Feelings: I Don’t Want To Get Out Of Bed

Sometimes I hesitate writing posts of this nature, because…well, things often can be misunderstood or interpreted in ways that are not the way they were intended to be delivered.  And in this post, I’m addressing the fact that I am a mother, and yet, I still have feelings of my own.  Sure, I know we are all aware of this.  But ARE WE, REALLY aware of this fact?  Because geez, the amount of guilt that I have to fight off for feeling stuff sometimes makes me think that this is not common knowledge.

Last week it was my birthday.  And besides a day trip over the weekend with a couple of my (awesome) friends, my actual birthday and birthday week, was, how shall I saw this…HUGELY DISAPPOINTING.  Now I need to get this out of the way.  I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about in the grand scheme of things.  I have an amazing family and friends and a lot of things to be thankful for.  But you guys, I think most of us have expectations that our birthday will be special, right?

Here’s what happened.  Our babysitting situation fell through on my actual birthday due to a miscommunication.  The previous weekend had been hectic, so I spent the actual day of my birthday power cleaning and trying to recover the house…because just because it was my birthday, doesn’t mean that stuff could really wait.  Plus, since our plans fell through, we decided to celebrate on a different day.  But then…the kids got sick.  So…I think you can imagine how the week went.  We cancelled all of our usual plans as well as my birthday plans.  I spent the week waking up in the middle of the night helping coughing kids.  I spent the days dragging my butt around, eating and drinking as many superfoods as I could humanly consume and washing endless amounts of laundry.  Begging and cajoling kids who didn’t feel like eating to eat and drink something.  Don’t hear me wrong on this…this is not meant as a complaint.  Obviously, I adore my kids and all I wanted was for them to feel better.  I felt badly for their poor little runny noses and I do enjoy taking care of them.  BUT YOU GUYS, NO ONE WANTS TO SPEND THEIR BIRTHDAY WEEK LIKE THAT!

I’m for reals NOT looking for sympathy here.  I’m just trying to bring up the whole “mom guilt” issue that just relentlessly plagues moms everywhere.  Propagated even further by social media, where it appears that all moms on there love EVERY FREAKING MINUTE of motherhood (how is that even possible, I mean, do YOU like wiping poop daily??), this is just a real live thing when you’ve got kids.  From the moment I had my first baby, I changed a lot.  I began caring about both my kids more than myself in a lot of ways.  The things that I worry about and think about center around them more often than they do around myself now.  BUT.  I’m still human. I still feel disappointment when my fun plans that I’ve been looking forward to for weeks, or maybe even a whole year (since that’s how often your birthday comes up!), get cancelled.  And yeah, I had a few pity party moments.  Because no matter how much you love your kids, you’re so thankful for them, and you would pretty much do anything for them…you still want to have fun.  And my husband reminds me often (he’s a great guy!) that my feelings are still valid.  That it’s okay that I still want to do things for myself.  That it’s not selfish to be disappointed when I don’t get to do what I was planning and hoping to do.

One of the things I’ve found makes it better for me, is to allow myself some time to feel how I feel.  I feel disappointed?  Okay, I acknowledge and validate why I feel that way.  I let myself cry a little, I feel it…and then I remind myself how much I love my kids, how lucky I am to have them, and how they’re only young for a period of time.  That someday, they will wipe their own noses, and I may even miss wiping snot.  Or poop.  (Yikes, being a mom is WEIRD!)  I try hard to not berate myself for being well, myself.  I love to do fun things.  I love to spend time with my husband and have all his attention for a change.  I’m a mom.  And yes, I’m still a human.

For the days I just don’t want to get out of bed, there’s ugly chic couture!  Pajama pants (are the best!) that don’t look like pjs, and an “ugly” tee.  Pair these with a kick ass pair of shoes, and you can “roll outta bed” in style, whether you feel like it or not.

And to all you moms out there feeling guilty for having feelings, stop being so hard on yourselves.  The very fact that you feel so bad about all this stuff means you’re a great mom.  So just be YOU and remember that your kids will notice that and follow suit.  Being a mom is challenging enough without being so dang hard on yourself!

Katy

On Regressing and Dressing

My two-year-old, soon to be three-year-old daughter is going through sleep regression.  For those of you who don’t know what that is, let me break it down for you.  It’s basically EXACTLY what it sounds like.  Your kid who may be a great sleeper (mine is) basically forgets how to fall asleep and causes exhaustion and misery all night and day long because of it.  You basically feel like all that sleep training you did gets flushed straight down the toilet as your child is in their crib, wailing and sobbing, for no apparent reason other than the obvious: they don’t want to go to sleep.  What was pretty simple and straight forward one week ago, has now become a source of anxiety and frustration for the entire family.  Gah.  If that doesn’t make you want to have kids, I don’t know what will!!  The good news is that it’s short lived, and before I know it, she will be back to being the good sleeper she really is.  But for now, coffee.

I feel like sometimes I have adult regression at times.  Is that a thing?  It should be.  I feel like I can work through how I feel about something and make all this progress, and then for a brief period of time, I go completely mad and all my progress goes straight out the window.  The good news is that it usually comes back, I regain my sanity (or at least as much of it as I had to begin with!) and I can move on from it.  However, I feel like there are certain areas where I struggle so much to make real progress, and I regress way too often.  Maybe it’s just that we all have our “triggers” you know?  Like our “stuff” that really gets to us.  Funny how someone can say something totally harmless or I can see something that’s not meant to bother me, and I find myself reacting like someone threw a hand grenade at me.  Yep.  Those are the areas that I have difficulty not regressing in way too often.  Maybe I’m not that different from my two-year-old!  I mean, I get frustrated because my initial reaction to the situation is “what the heck?  You know the drill!  You lie down and go to sleep, it’s not rocket science!”  But maybe I’m not all that different.  I mean, what the heck?  I know the drill!  I need to just not let the same crap bug me over and over again, it’s not rocket science!  Hmmm…helps me have a little more sympathy for what she’s going through!

Either way, regression is hard because it’s discouraging.  You start doubting yourself…wondering if the progress you made was actually real or if it was all something you imagined.  The short answer is, it is completely and totally real.  Babies go through so many sleep regressions because they are growing and changing constantly.  And we go through so many emotional regressions because we are growing and changing and learning is something that doesn’t happen overnight.  It’s a process, and patience is key.  Good thing I’m SUCH a patient person (*SARCASM)!

Honestly, when I’m having a “regressing” kind of day, I put on fun clothes.  Why?  Because it helps me to get my mind off what I’m feeling and makes me feel a little better, no matter what.  It’s my way of rebelling against the regression and trying to enjoy other stuff while I work through the same old garbage!

I love everything about this dress.  Especially the sleeves.  It’s like retro magic!  The boots I overwear SO much and I’m definitely buying another pair this coming winter because they are actually magic on my feet.

I hope your weekend is magic.  And full of good, restful sleep :)
Katy

On The Unexpected…Kids AND Outfits

Being a parent is so weird.  And being a mom is even weirder.  I mean, one day you just look around and wonder: “what on EARTH happened?”  I mean, there are these little people who you are responsible for 100 percent of the time.  They rule your calendar, your time, and your choices.  Like, all the time.  Life is an adventure with them.  Some days, it’s a great adventure.  And other days, it’s a hard one.  There are days when I laugh all day long at these kids because they are hilarious and I can’t stand the thought of them getting bigger because they’re so dang cute.  Then there are days when it’s all I can do to not break down and cry for missing the things that I don’t get to do for the time being.  Like binge watching tv shows with my husband on the couch, or going ice skating at Christmas, or heck, seeing freaking Star Wars in the theatre before the entire universe has seen it five times already and told me HOW INCREDIBLE IT IS.  I KNOW!!  IF I COULD, I WOULD SEE IT OKAY?!?  Rant over.  Sorry for that.

I think it’s hilarious to look back and think about what I used to think about having kids.  Because reality is ALWAYS different than you think, right?  In some ways, it’s way better than I thought it would be.  And in others, it’s way harder.  I remember seeing a kid have a full on meltdown in Target and thinking to myself: “yeah, I’m not gonna let my kids do THAT.  I’m gonna have that situation under control.”  Enter hilarious and uncontrollable laughter.  Because you can totally have toddlers “under control” right??  Homey don’t play that.

I also remember thinking: “I’m totally prepared for this, I have dogs.”  Oh my gosh.  I’m almost busting out loud laughing right now.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I LOVE dogs.  They are in some ways like children.  When they’re puppies they have to be potty trained, they keep you up at night, and heck, they do take emotional energy when they’re sick and they need your care.  I’m not belittling taking care of animals in the least!  But come on.  When your dog is ill behaved, you can LEAVE HIM AT HOME ALONE.  Yeah.  You don’t have to strap him in a carseat while he kicks you and screams and then take him into a store where he bugs you the ENTIRE time you’re trying to think about what you need.  You can basically go about your normal life, short of being home to feed and walk your dogs…and you don’t have to get a babysitter to go to a movie or go out to dinner.  Nope.  I remember thinking that I was oh so prepared…and in reality I was once again, mistaken on this point.

I also expected that having kids was going to be hard.  I really tried to prepare myself for the worst, and then when my son was born, I was so enthralled with him, that I forgot that it was supposed to be hard for a while.  I was amazed at how much I loved him and how I couldn’t imagine life without him.  So it’s funny how much no matter how hard some days are, there are still so many great things that I didn’t expect.  Like last night, my daughter called me back in her room to fix her blanket.  I went in, tucked her in, and then as I was leaving, she called me back in her room.  I asked her what was wrong, and she said in a teeny tiny voice: “wanna say I love you.”  Oh my gosh you guys.  That moment made everything I let go of worth it.  I was wrong in thinking I could prepare myself for the stress, the meltdowns, and the things I would miss.  But I was also very wrong in not preparing myself for the perfect moments, that DO occasionally, exist in motherhood.  :)

I decided to go with an outfit, that is as usual, unexpected…putting things together that might not normally belong.  Because sometimes, those things work beautifully together in life…even when you’re not prepared for them!

I decided that since it’s winter, to use this top from Ruby Rose as a vest of sorts over this vintage plaid shirt.  I layered the pearl cluster necklace with this amazing black one from Classic Rock Couture.  I’ve never put this top over a collared shirt like this but I love it!

I hope that no matter how your day has been, good or bad, expected or unexpected, that you’re enjoying some part of it!

Katy

Things No One Ever Told Me About Being A Mom

Full disclosure.  This post should actually be called one of two titles…either: “Things People Actually DID Tell Me About Being A Mom, But I Wasn’t Listening Because I Really Didn’t Care At The Time” OR “Things People Actually DID Tell Me About Being A Mom, But I Don’t Remember Because, Well, I’m A Mom Now And I’m Always Tired.”  But you can see how those are remarkably longer and less catchy, so I chose the first one.  Just making sure you know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

I am one of those people who ALWAYS tries to be extra prepared.  I plan.  I read.  I ask people’s advice.  I never jump in without checking out my surroundings if I can help it.  And when it came to having kids, that held true.  My husband and I were married for 7 years before having kids.  We dated for 6 years before that, so we’d been together for like 72 years before we decided it was time.  My math is pretty spectacular huh?  I had babysat.  I had been around toddlers PLENTY.  I had held babies right after they were born and had close friends who were parents.  I read books.  I basically prepared myself for the most terrible time of my life…sleeplessness, stress, and God knows what else.  Then my son was born.  And he was amazing.  He ate and slept like a dream.  I was like…yeah, thanks for preparing me for the horrors of war, when this is more like a snapshot from a Hallmark card, except for the fact that I’m still about 100 pounds overweight after giving birth.  So about five months after he was born, I did the only natural thing that a completely insane person would do, and I got pregnant again.  I was like, this is easy, I’m gonna rock this and be the most AMAZING COOL MOM EVER.  I bet you can sense where this story is going.

Right about the time my daughter was going to be born, my son turned one.  Now there’s something magical about when your kid develops their personality to a greater degree and starts behaving like a tiny human more than like an infant who smiles and stuff, but basically eats and sleeps and that’s the bulk of it.  Yeah it’s magical and HORRIFYING.  All of a sudden, the “easiness ” I had experienced flew right out the window.  He had opinions about what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go.  He was no longer a captive of the carseat and the stroller and he wanted to move around freely and touch everything.  And the only thought in my mind was “WHAT THE CRAP HAVE I DONE?!?!”  My husband and I would be out and about and we’d see a couple with a toddler and a giant baby belly and we’d be like “nooooooooooo runnnnnnnn save yourselves…” but we knew it was also too late for them and we were all in the same boat with a bunch of toddlers poking giant holes in the bottom of it, laughing gleefully while we all tried desperately to shovel water out to stay alive.  I’m making you excited to have kids aren’t I?  Hahaha.  Keep reading.

Then my daughter was born and the adventure got crazier.  Now I have a two year old and a three year old and I often wonder at why I didn’t predict this ridiculous situation from the beginning, then I remember that my math is total crap, and that explains a lot of things in my life.  So here goes.  Things I didn’t realize about being a mom…full honestly, no holding back.  Take a deep breath, and dive in with me!

Moms are always tired.  Like always.  And being tired makes you emotional.  Therefore, moms are always emotional.  When I was in college, I babysat for a moms of toddlers group at my church.  Every week, I’d watch the moms come get their kids and literally, ALL of them had been crying.  I was like: “Why are they ALWAYS crying???”  College me, let me explain to you why those moms were always crying.  Because the last time they took a shower and did’t have three panic attacks while trying to rinse their hair because there was screaming and mayhem outside the door was at least three years ago.  Because now going to the bathroom in a public restroom equals STRESS because at any moment, a tiny person WILL open the door latch and fling the door open wide while there’s a line of spectators standing outside the stall.  Because they got woken up by a barfing child, then had to clean the whole crib, sanitize the area, and attempt to go back to sleep amidst terrifying imaginations of the whole family getting the stomach flu.  Only to awaken, exhausted, to find a completely healthy toddler with EXTRA energy, bouncing around the room on the furniture, unstuffing the last kleenex box, spraying the saline nose spray around the room, and generally wreaking havoc while mom is desperately trying to get a spare moment to drink some coffee.  Because moms watch their kids eat french fries and croissants while they eat fruit…and still can’t quite fit into their pre-pregnancy jeans yet.  Because the last time a nap was an option, was during the last election year.  So college me, get off your high judgy horse and have some freaking compassion.  And then go home and take a nap for me, will ya?

Moms are always trying their best, and basically completely failing by their own standards.  Oh. And by the standards of social media.  Let’s not forget that priceless gem that’s making moms all over the world feel a little more like failures for not Pinteresting their way through every single day.  Before I had kids I was like: “My kids are gonna be healthy eaters.  They’re gonna eat diverse food and be cultured and have a varied palate.”  Then out pops my son who from the VERY BEGINNING had the whitest person’s palate you have ever seen.  Black pepper is “spicy” to him.  He lives on American cheese and pizza.  I make him taste stuff and he puts it in his mouth, crinkles up his face in a look of disgust and says: “oh that’s GOOD mama…”  I ask: do you want more?  “Oh no.  I’m good.”  And then I see a mom who’s toddler is eating a nice seaweed snack on Instagram and the feeling I experience is somewhere in the neighborhood of watching a super skinny girl eating a donut.  Jealousy.  Rage.  Failure.  Fishy crackers are just as nutritious as seaweed right?  Please say yes.

Moms are always pushed to the edge.  They have been taken hostage by tiny and adorable humans, who want things NOW and have ZERO patience for not important things, like meals, laundry, or sleep.  Toddlers value things like finding that one toy they haven’t played with in months, and finding it NOW.  Things like, having 17 books in their crib even though that leaves no where for them to lie down and actually SLEEP.  Basically it goes like this.  You’re getting a constant barrage of questions, most of them consistent reruns, listening to a steady stream of noisy toys and screeches and wails, then your husband comes in and asks you a simple question.  “Hey!  How’s it going?”  Oh no he didn’t.  You know those slow mo scenes in movies where the opera music plays and you see someone have a complete meltdown, screaming and waving their arms in obscene gestures?  Yep.  That’s what happens.  Because you are always RIGHT on the brink of a breakdown.  Just WAITING for a car to cut you off or someone to shoot you a judgy look about the fact that you forgot to buckle your kid in the stroller and they’re now standing up in it.  People, this is why we need to be nice to each other ALL THE TIME.  Because when you’re driving on the road, you never know if that “rude person” driving behind you is a mom of toddlers, which basically explains everything.  Driving with toddlers is basically distracted driving…with a pinch of road rage thrown in for good measure.  Then you see someone with a bumper sticker that says: “My child is an honor roll student.”  And you’re like “oh good for you.  YOUR child probably ate seaweed when he was a toddler.”

All this to say, my three year old son brought me flowers last night.  It was the sweetest thing ever.  He hugged me, told me he loved me, and I instantly forgave him for the 100 pounds I’ve had to work off, the sleepless nights, and the unnecessary screaming and nagging I’d endured all day.  And that is the essence of it all.  No one ever told me that when I was a mom, I’d be a MOM.  The person who thinks their kids are absolutely the most amazing things on the planet.  The woman who tears up when they say “I love you mama.”  And who would do just about anything to make their lives more amazing.  Yep.  No one told me this.  Or more likely I just wasn’t listening.

I may be a mom who cries at sappy commercials and sweet stories the Today show now, but I don’t have to wear mom jeans.  In fact, in this outfit I just ditched the “mom pants” all together and went with a giant, comfy, oversized flannel.  With cute boots of course.

This dress was like one of my favorite finds from Off Fifth in Santa Barbara.  It’s HUGE and SO SOFT.  And I love that it’s long enough to be worn without leggings if it’s warm enough.  The boots are vintage repurposed from Wild and Free Jewelry but since she’s not going to be doing them anymore, check out Hillbilly Gypsy Boots for amazing custom pairs.  The earrings are my favorite Southbound ones…I really need to get another pair of these amazing earrings in a different color!

Hope your week is off to an amazing start!

Kat