The other day I was scrolling through instagram, and one of the captions under a photo really caught my attention. Now I’m not really all that much into inspirational quotes to be honest. I’m not really moved by them most of the time unless they happen to maybe be different from the usual suspects or maybe are just really really heartfelt and original. I guess I’m kind of suspicious of things that are trying to make me “feel something” so if it’s trying too hard, I will kind of have the opposite reaction. But this quote…it really popped out at me and stuck with me in a big way. It’s been stuck in my head ever since: “comfortable slavery or dangerous freedom, what will you choose?” Dang. That is some powerful stuff right there. That’s enough fodder for an entire book.
I think why this quote really caught me, was that it has basically been the theme of my life. Now I want to clarify something. I think the word “slavery” can seem a bit harsh to describe parts of our life in some ways, although I think there are situations that can actually be slavery to our emotions, finances, or to our souls…so if you use that term in not such a literal sense, it makes sense. I was basically raised in a form of “comfortable slavery.” It was a lot of choices that led to more of the same. A lot of fear that prevented moving forward…because forward is scary and risky. Staying the same is not. When my husband and I got married, we stayed in the same house for a long time, not by my choice. While I appreciated a lot of things about the place we lived, I rebelled against it because I wanted something bigger in a metaphorical (and literal to be honest) sense. I was frustrated, I felt stuck, and I felt like I was kind of in a form of slavery in more than one way. I longed to move forward and to FINALLY get the chance to make those choices that got us SOMEWHERE. And we did. We made choices, took risks, and did things as wisely as we could without not making the decisions altogether. And let me tell you. Going for dangerous freedom is just that. Dangerous.
Because we haven’t gotten to the places that we are going yet, I can’t say that it wasn’t worth it. But I can tell you one of the most dangerous things about choosing dangerous freedom: longing for the comfortable slavery. I struggle with that every day. I find myself thinking: “back then at least I had/did/felt/was _______ (fill in the blanks here).” I find myself longing for the comfort of the familiar, and often willing to give up the dreams I have had my entire life just to go back to a place where I felt very stifled. Because I think the thing is, dangerous freedom is a risk, it’s worth it, but it’s not always an immediate reward. It’s a journey and it leads FORWARD, and forward is unfamiliar, and unfamiliar is uncomfortable and frightening. Someday, I will go into more details, but for now I’m still wrestling with the cost of the dangerous freedom. I know myself, and I will always go for it. I’m not a “stay comfortable” kind of person…but when you get heartbroken, it’s much easier to try and settle than when you think you can leap off a cliff and fly. My wings might be a little broken, but they’re healing…and the only way they’ll heal properly is if I keep using them correctly. And that’s what I’m going to do. Dangerous freedom is, and will always be, my choice.
I think the way I dress reflects my personality in more ways than one. This outfit is a great example of my nature to “go for it” instead of staying within the boundaries of what’s comfortable. Lest you think that I am talking myself up, let me assure you…I don’t always love this quality about myself. I have countless times been quite frustrated with this part of my nature and wondered if I shouldn’t have compromised in certain situations…just a bit. So I’m learning and growing and getting refined, but this is definitely a “go for it outfit” and I do love it, I gotta say! The boots…THE BOOTS are from Spell Byron Bay and I think they’re just insane. The lace dress is from an AMAZING vintage seller from the UK, Waiste Vintage, and the floral shirt is from Fred & Betty’s. The Indian chief ring is from my favorite happy place Ruby Rose. I put this all over a nice fluffy pink vintage slip skirt I unearthed from the madness that is my closet and I added a simple scarf tied in a bow to give a little bit of structure to the outfit!
Whatever your personality or your style, I hope you choose dangerous freedom and are wildly successful. Because I think that no matter what, freedom is ALWAYS worth the price tag!