Fashion Feelings: Coming Back To Life

I’ve been mentally writing this blog post for a long time now.  I’m hoping it’s fully formed and will come out the way I have had it in my mind.  You know when you have an idea, but it’s just really hard to put into words?  That’s this post.  And I have been waiting till I could adequately find the words to really express what it is I’m thinking.  And I have A LOT of words, so I know it must be complex if it’s taking me more than five minutes!

Of course, I have to talk about television.  Because I’m a sucker for a good story, I love things that are about more than reality, and I find a lot of comparisons to my life in stories.  So here goes.  I’m going to use an example from a television show that many of you will laugh at me for watching, but that’s okay, I’m confident enough to not be a closeted teen tv lover ;)  I love the show Teen Wolf.  The costuming and acting are cheesy as all get out, but the story is like the most fun thing ever, and that’s all I really care about.  And here’s this one story line that really stuck with me.  In one of the seasons, some of the teens were disappearing, and appeared to be “dead” when they were found.  The long and short of it is, the teens were kidnapped, had been “altered” or made into supernatural beings, buried, then emerged a few days later with a newfound ability.  Now, in this story line, they were turned into instruments for evil, or that was the attempt.  But something about this story line really caught me and has been sitting in my brain ever since.

Here’s why.  I went through a few years of kind of “death” you could say.  I lost a lot, some of what I lost was…myself.  It was a difficult time, and it felt like I was underground.  It felt like I had lost everything and I didn’t know who I was.  And then one day,  I began to reemerge again.  As I go on with my life, I have discovered that this is not actually an uncommon situation.  Many more people than I ever thought have gone through some type of “death” in their lives, where something unexpected happened, and the course of their existence took a detour.  I have been surprised to see how many people can relate to this feeling, no matter the details surrounding their difficulties, the result is always the same.  One “life” ends, and then another begins.  What ACTUALLY differs from person to person, is what happens NEXT.

Back to Teen Wolf.  I love this plot (regardless of the fact that it was actually kind of intended as a negative story line, I love the concept).  You know why I love it?  These people “died” and when they came back to life, they had something NEW inside them.  Something GREATER than what they had before.  Wow.  Here’s the problem though.  Often after these devastating things occur in our lives, we come back to life, but at “half power”.  Because disappointment is so strong a deterrent, it can keep us from being aware of our newfound “power”.  We may not have x-ray vision or invisibility cloaking after suffering a great setback.  But make not mistake, we DO have a newfound power.  And I mean that.  What is it, you may ask?  It’s a few things.  It’s the power of conquering disappointment and moving forward and THRIVING in the face of let down.  There’s a level of courage and boldness that comes from realizing that you are not “conquerable” after you LIVE again.  It’s also the fact that new creativity and ideas are often born out of pain, need, and the fact that you are less afraid of people than ever before.  Plus, there’s nothing like getting a new lease on life to motivate you to try something you’ve always dreamt of before.

The thing is, as much as I run into more and more people who have gone through this kind of situation, there are many who are not able to see their new ability.  They are still emotionally living underground, accepting their “death” instead of accepting their new LIFE.  It’s a hard thing to embrace.  I know.  It’s often easier to just partially stay underground instead of risking “failing” again.  But if you don’t try again, you most definitely cannot succeed.  And this time, well this time you’ve got something you didn’t have before.  A new super power.

Okay, so my “superpower” may have always been dressing weird.  But I have new things inside me that I didn’t realize were there before I went through what I went through.  And less fear with which to tackle them.  No matter what you’ve been through, I bet you’ve got so much more to do, give, and create…who cares what your age or stage of life is.  You’ve got more, I guarantee it.

Track pants, ruffly blouse, and vest…weird combo I know.  But somehow, it’s all very Manrepeller, and by nature that makes me LOVE IT!

Katy