Fashion Feelings: Being the “Fat Friend”

Once upon a time, all of my friends that I shopped with were smaller than me.  I don’t mean skinnier, I mean actually SMALLER.  Like, I’m 5’9″ and they were all much, much shorter than I am.  I’d like to point some things out that are obvious, except that NOTHING is obvious in girl world when it comes to issues of weight.  Tall girls wear larger sizes.  Tall girls eat more calories than shorter girls.  Tall girls look larger in photos when they are next to smaller girls.  Yes, all of these things are like totally “duh”, but you try telling that to any girl who is sensitive about her weight.  I’ll give you an example.
Me (talking to my husband, a month after giving birth to my second baby in a row):  “I’m so fat.”
My husband: “You literally JUST had two babies.  You are not fat, you just gave birth to two large human children.”
Me: “I’m so fat.”
I’m only gonna say this once.  Women…be crazy.  I…am crazy.  You can reason with me about how I’m taller and I’m normal sized and all that, but my brain still goes to crazy town when I go jeans shopping.  I think a lot of you can relate.

I ever so kindly gave myself a (mostly) joking nickname when I’d go shopping with my tiny friends.  I’d call myself: “the fat friend”.  Too big for you?  Toss it over to the dressing room next to you where “the fat friend” is!  Needless to say, this kind of humor is not really the kindest when you’re trying to deal with your self esteem issues…yeah, I know.  I can be mean to myself.  I have since stopped even jokingly calling myself that because I want to speak kindly about myself as well as others.  But I am going to point this out…sometimes being the…”taller friend” I will now call myself…has its benefits.  The shoes that are too large for someone else will inevitably fit me.  The extra long dress that someone else would have to hem is just right for me.  And that is when I do not mind being “the taller friend”!

I have an awesome friend I’ve mentioned countless times before (and will mention countless more) who lives in the glorious vintage clothing mecca of San Francisco.  And she sent me these pants because well, I’m “the taller friend”.  I may need more calories than her and I may look like a mammoth hunchback next to her in photos (because in photos, “the taller friend” inevitably will hunch over to try to put her face next to the smaller friend instead of her boobs), but when it comes to wearing these snakeskin palazzo pants, I will happily be “the taller friend” all day long.

Whatever size you are, own it, and realize that it has it’s benefits.  Whether it’s larger or smaller than someone next to you, whatever doesn’t fit her will probably fit you.  Score.

Katy

On Receving A Compliment and The Jacket of My Dreams

Last Sunday, a woman I admire and love deeply gave me a compliment.  Here’s how it went down.  Her: “Katy you look so thin oh my gosh!!”  Me: “no no no I still have so much weight to lose…”  Her: “No.  Stop.  You say: ‘THANK YOU! I’ve been working really hard!'”  You guys, I get endlessly annoyed at myself for NOT BEING ABLE TO RECEIVE A COMPLIMENT.  When I think about it, it’s SO rude to the other person.  I think I’m being all modest, when in reality, someone’s trying to give me a gift and I’m shoving it back towards them.  I apologized to her and thanked her honestly, because that’s what I should have done in the first place.  Just a few days later, I was in Trader Joe’s with the kids and they were starting to meltdown.  A girl who only had a few items in her basket offered to let me go ahead of her.  I felt so badly that I refused and told her that she should go because I didn’t want to make her wait for me with my huge cart of stuff.  A woman I know happened to be standing next to me, and she said: “you know, you should really let people do stuff like that for you!”  She said it in such a nice way, that I almost cried.  Again, here was someone kindly trying to give me a gift, and I was refusing it again.  Why?  Because I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

Whenever I wonder why I’m like this, I remember the time I tried to take my mom to get a pedicure for her birthday.  I almost want to laugh hysterically at this thought because knowing my mom, it’s a ludicrous idea really.  She was so intensely uncomfortable the WHOLE time.  She kept offering to help the girl doing the pedicure, and talk to her, and basically apologized to her the ENTIRE time for the fact that the girl was DOING WHAT SHE HAD BEEN PAID TO DO.  Now I am all for being super kind and compassionate to people, even when they’re doing their job.  I try to do my best to clean up a tiny bit at restaurants because I don’t want to be the kind of person who leaves a disastrous mess just because I have toddlers.  I know that some jobs (like cleaning someone else’s toenails) are not the most glamorous of all jobs, so there’s no need to be rude or not treat the person doing them like a human being.  However, there’s also no need to feel badly that someone is doing something for me, whether it’s just a kind gesture or someone bringing me food at a restaurant.

Honestly, there are SO many things I’m working on in myself, mainly because I don’t want to pass them on to my kids.  I was raised by a mom who didn’t allow people to do stuff for her…she ALWAYS did stuff for other people…so I grew up to think that allowing people to give me things or compliments was not okay.  I don’t want my kids to grow up thinking this way.  I’ve struggled so deeply with my self worth and with believing that I’m good at anything at all…and that has led to me feeling very undeserving of any praise or generous gifts.  I’m getting there…but this week has proven to me that I really need to just learn to receive. When someone says something nice, just say THANK YOU and let it go.  I don’t need to “qualify” their compliment or minimize myself in some other area to balance it out.  And the next time that my kids are melting down in the grocery store, I’m sure as heck going to let some nice person allow me to cut in front of them if they want to! :)

I found this jacket at the store I work at and all I could think of was…these HAVE to go with my orange pants!   And so, an outfit is born.  This jacket was being saved for an event we are doing, but my friend and co worker graciously let me buy it, and I let her be kind to me :)

I hope you are ALL receiving compliments and owning them.  Because YOU are worth it.  You are worth ALL of the compliments you receive, and so much MORE!

Katy

Palazzo Pants. Please Don’t Be Afraid.

Started a new workout program today…Way of Grey or @wayofgrey on Instagram.  So if I begin typing a word and it ends in “sdfhhhhhhhhkkllllll…” it’s because I’ve temporarily lost control over my arms due to doing 5,934 burpees earlier this afternoon.  Send immediate help, oh and someone please grab me an iced coffee while you’re at it?  Thanks.

Ahhh I do enjoy a good self inflicted butt kicking!   But that’s just my afternoon.  My morning started with me throwing a toddler-sized tantrum (and the toddler-sized ones may SOUND small to you, but when it comes to tantrums, smaller is actually larger) because it’s too hot I don’t know what to wear and I feel fat.  It ended with all of my shirts being dumped into a pile on the floor.  And there you have it.  Me in the heat.  When it gets this hot I basically want to stick my head in the fridge, cry a little, and have an endless stream of iced beverages handed to me while I whine.  I’m so not high maintenance it’s not even funny.

Now that we’ve covered the length of my day and aired out all of my issues with the heat, it’s time to talk about palazzo pants.  Those amazing and sometimes tricky little buggers that girls either love or are completely terrified of.  There’s nothing I love more than an amazing pair of pants.  Except maybe a jumpsuit.  Oh and vintage dresses.  Graphic tees.  Oh yeah…boots too…okay okay I get it.  I love A LOT of things!  But pants definitely rank pretty high!!  Here’s some ideas on how to wear these suckers!

 

Let’s start with the most dramatic way to wear them.  With a flowy top.  This is definitely a look for the more waif-ish figure, where super flowy things don’t add too much bulk.  Kind of like a Free People/Mary Kate & Ashley (but with more color!)/boho look.  Both the top and the pants are Free People by the way, but were bought second hand at Curio and Ruby Rose (respectively).  This is a look for the bold and fearless who absolutely love to make a statement.

 

And now for the more conservative.  A denim or chambray button down really balances out these pants.  I added a vintage bolo to up the western look of the outfit, but you could add pearls or just something small and more dainty to go in a different direction.  This is a much easier, less statement way to wear palazzo pants but still awesome!

I thought I’d bust out a nice silly face for your Wednesday :)  And here’s the rocker-chic way.  Take a nice graphic tee (it could be a more sweet and subtle print or even just a plain white or black tee!) and knot it at the waist.  Think slimmer and tighter (doesn’t have to be skin tight, just more fitted!) on the top and flowy on the bottom. Balance. You definitely want to try and give yourself a waist in big flowy pants like these…unless you’re going for the more boho statement look.  I used the bolo like a choker for fun!

I hope you’re having a fabulous week!  And I hope you’ll give palazzo pants a try!  Even a nice solid black pair if you’re not feeling adventurous.  They are so comfy and so beautiful on…and they are fun to walk in because they swish! :)

Happy Wednesday!

Katy

 

 

 

How to Wear Your Husband’s Plaid Shirt

One thing I’ve learned about dressing and pattern mixing is that plaid goes with literally everything.  It’s like a good attitude, sunshine, or iced coffee.  It just always works.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone utter the words: “I don’t look good in plaid.”  Because EVERYONE looks GREAT in plaid!

There are just somedays when I need things to be easy.  Because with toddlers, nothing is ever easy.  I mean remember those days when I could literally just park my car and get out and go?  Just like that?  No longer.  Now a simple stop for coffee entails diaper bags, wielding a giant stroller, and unbuckling and buckling seat belts.  Not to mention whatever snacks, toys, and other pacifying elements are required.  Because no matter how many times you INSIST it will ONLY BE A FEW MINUTES, you might as well be speaking a foreign language and the tiny humans who rule your life insist that you grab ALL the toys and books.  Just for a Starbucks run.  Half an hour and one coffee drink, two apple juices and chocolate covered food items (and a bucket of sweat pouring off of me) later, I’m repeating this exercise to get back IN the car.  So simplicity being a thing of the past, at times I just need to reach for things that just ALWAYS work without me belting, pinning, layering, or sucking in my gut.  Know what I mean?!?

Because I don’t have enough shirts (insert sarcasm here), I stole one of my husband’s.  With his permission of course.  I really like this plaid shirt…the soft colors and the fact that it’s vintage and super thin and worn.  And plaid goes with EVERYTHING.

First and easiest way to wear plaid.  With bell bottoms of COURSE!!!  I love when plaid shirts are a tad too big so I can tie them at the waist.  Then add jewelry and huaraches and you are so good to go!  These sandals are from Ix Style and they’re the cutest!  They’re fair trade and provide clean water for families in Guatemala when you buy them!

This is the easiest plaid shirt DIY ever.  You basically take your arms out of your sleeves, then tie them around your waist like a belt.  Instant strapless top.  That is my kind of DIY!!!  So cute, fun, and totally creates a different outfit out of the same pieces!

I love plaid tops and patterned palazzo pants.  This is my go-to playdate with my kids outfit with my kids because it’s comfy, casual, and easy.  It looks put together but not like I got inappropriately dressed up to go to a park.  The feather necklace just kind of adds a little extra fun! :)

Hope you’re having a fun, easy Wednesday no matter what you’re doing!

Katy

Monday Mojo in the Heat!

Man it’s been HOT lately.  I mean, of course there are places in the world that are hotter.  But for me, past 75 degrees is just HOT.  I don’t really do all that great in the heat.  I get cranky, irritable, and sweat and sweat and sweat.  It’s not pretty.  I already run hot, so when the temperature goes up, I just get unpleasant to be around.  It’s so hard for me to find my mojo when it gets like this.  I stare at my closet and long for a cool breeze so that I can actually WEAR my clothes.  I can’t figure out what to put on that’s going to not make me feel all gross and sticky.

I’ve come to the conclusion that at times when it gets hot, more clothes are sometimes better than less…when they are the right fabrics of course.  You know, like it’s actually more comfortable to not be wearing mini shorts and have your legs sticking to your chair when you sit down??  You catch my drift!

I went into one of my favorite stores downtown SLO, H&G Boutique, because they are seriously amazing.  They carry a lot of really up and coming lines…lines that are really fresh and new.  I love how they really are unique and creative.  They even carry some lines like Pricklie Pear (made by one of the beautiful girls who works in the store!) and Inverness and Crane (also made by a girl who used to live in SLO).  This store is just awesome.  It feels original and different than your average boutique that just carries the same old lines.  The girls who work there are really intuitive when it comes to fashion and helping you find what you’re looking for.  I have been wanting these Raga LA pants for a while since I saw them a few times on Instagram and they look amazing.  I found the rest of this outfit in about two seconds flat because, well everything in the store could easily go in my closet!  And the girls helped me decide.  Plus, I love that this outfit is actually a dress and pants, so I can rewear it in a TON of different ways.

 

This is like SO my new favorite Monday Mojo outfit.  I guess for me, this amount of pattern and flowy fabric just makes me feel like a princess!  I love how the pants hang well but are still so lightweight so in the heat, I still feel dressy but so nice and cool.  The dress (Umgee USA) has these awesome slits in the sleeves that feel a bit 1800’s French court dressing for some reason.  But the shape of the dress is definitely 1960s and will be so fun with tall boots too.  Do you see this Pricklie Pear choker? I love this piece.  I’m not usually a choker person, but the neutral color of the leather really makes it so gorgeous and wearable to me.

I haven’t walked into a store and bought a complete outfit in a LONG time.  I honestly think that H&G is one of the few places I can actually do that really easily.  I feel like I am excited about the pieces that I find in there!

Ahhhhh hope you’re staying cool today.  Thanks to my new outfit I think I can brave the summer and maybe be a little less irritable… :)

Katy