We’ve recently been cleaning out the garage and the shed, two areas of the house that have kind of had a “don’t look” policy about them. That’s not something that’s in my nature, in fact, I could probably spend tons and tons of money on organizational products and have everything perfectly labelled and alphabetized. However, that’s not been a reality for me as we’ve moved multiple times and have had small children and all those things that add up to what I call “semi manageable chaos”. Since we’ve been in the same place for a few years now, it was just time to tackle what was underneath the top layer of things we pull out and put back from the storage areas.
There have been loads of things going to the thrift stores, to donation places, on craigslist, and to the dump…there was one black widow spider death (the spider, not one of us!) and some broken picture frames and glasses that could not be salvaged. After years of stuff that had been chucked frantically into boxes and then hurriedly taped shut so that we could move in a hot second…it’s finally being taken care of. I thought this would feel good, and in a lot of ways, it does. What I didn’t expect however was the emotional purging that would take place along with the physical purging of stuff.
Many of the boxes I went through contained stuff I haven’t seen in YEARS. There were decorations I had in our first home after we got married, the home we lived in for five years and my husband lived in for many many before that while in college. Then there were the things I had purchased for the houses that we were supposed to buy, and then lost for various reasons. There were baby clothes and shoes and photos…you can see where this is going! Yes, there have been some tears. Tears for the futures I had planned for, then lost. Tears for the moments with my children while they were babies…the moments that I both treasure because of my beautiful babies, and yet at the same time find quite painful because of the circumstances we were in. Somehow though, I managed to stay calm and rational about what to keep and what to part with, and now there is a bunch more room in our garage and maybe a little more in my brain.
I’ve come to the conclusion that in life, there aren’t many hard and fast formulas. Like, moving on does not directly follow purging and getting rid of baggage. I really wish this was the case. One of the things that I’ve said over and over through almost ALL seasons of my life so far is “I just want to move ON from THIS.” It’s been a life long journey of physically MOVING and yet, not MOVING on from kind of the “same old, same old” situation. And while I don’t know the future, I will say this. It does feel different this time. I feel different. I’m no longer clinging to the past, whether that be in items I purchased for a certain dream I had or in ideas I have refused to let go of, because that’s the way it HAS to be. I so wish life operated in formulas. I’m good at DOING stuff. I like to feel like I control the outcome, therefore I will do _____ + _______ to = WHAT I WANT TO HAPPEN. Wouldn’t that be beautiful? Life would be so easy. But this I do know: I want to move forward in the most healthy way possible, not carrying around a bunch of baggage that I haven’t seen in years and for all I know, might just be trash. Yes, it is time to move forward emotionally, and I hope, physically.
I chose this outfit for a few reasons. First of all, I’ve been really into monarch butterflies lately, and not just because they are trendy (because I know they are!). My kids have been learning about butterflies in preschool and they watched the transition from caterpillar to cocoon to butterfly in their class. (Thank goodness, because as cool as it is, kinda grosses me out to have that at home!) There is something so powerful about this transition. Talk about moving forward, am I right?? I mean, this gross looking wormy thing that looks like the bottom of the food chain turns into a gorgeous delicate creature by looking like its dead for a week or two. Woah. There’s a whole blog post in this transition! Anyway, back to the outfit. This romper is so fun and also a bit breezy in the booty region if you catch my drift (drifting up my backside). It’s from Auguste The Label and the boots are Minnetonka (of course). I got some craft monarch butterflies on wire off of Etsy, and I attach them to anything I feel like for that day!
Wherever you are, I hope you have the courage today to move forward, even if that just means doing one little thing differently than before. It’s hard, and I’m right there with you!
Happy middle of the week!