Have you ever had someone in your life who just didn’t like you? Like no matter how nice you are to them, no matter how hard you try, it just gets worse? Yep. I’ve been there. Yesterday I was in the grocery store and I saw this girl who I knew a long time ago. We were friendly and had a friend in common so we spent a limited amount of time around each other, but I could just always feel that little barbed wire around her when we were together. She was like as sweet as pie and sweeter to me…but you know when there’s poison in that pie because you can taste it! I could tell she was a highly competitive person and so I just kind of kept as much space as possible between us, but she finally attacked my relationship with my now husband and after that I just gently walked away and tried my hardest to literally never be around her.
This isn’t the only time this has happened. There’s another girl who I used to know who has decided she hates me. I worked my butt off on this one, you guys. I invited her on day trips with other friends, I hugged her and apologized for anything I had done to hurt her…and after all that one of our mutual friends told me that she had had it with me. Oh my gosh do you know how ANNOYING THAT WAS??? And yet, at the same time it was kind of freeing. I was like…wait a minute…the more I try, the more she hates me. So I don’t have to try anymore with her! I can take a deep breath, and just wave and smile when I see her and not even worry about it!
When I was interning at the local news station in college (it was a requirement to do an internship for my major), I thought it was going to be a blast. I mean, I knew it would be work, but I like that kind of work so I was pretty excited about logging hours at a television station I grew up watching. Yeah it wasn’t fun. Like, AT ALL. You want to know why? The editors. So I’d come in, and sit in the large room with all the desks and computers and I’d ask the editors what they needed done and I’d do it. Free labor. They should have been ecstatic. Let me paint a more ACCURATE picture of what went on. I’d come in, all happy and friendly (because I am a decently happy and peppy person) and all the editors would be sitting in a group around their computers. Frowny grumpy faces on. Bitching and moaning about how lame the news was around here. “Why doesn’t anyone get murdered around here?” Okay, not an exact quote, BUT I did catch a reporter staring at a newsfeed of a massive fire down in Los Angeles saying wistfully: “that would NEVER happen here…” And I just looked at him and said: “UM, THANK GOD!” And he was like “oh…yeah yeah of course.” Are you catching my drift? Anyway, back to the newsroom. I’d come in and say hi and they’d be like: “meh” (or however hipster cool kids say hi) and then they’d be like “whatever here’s some stuff to do.” There were a few other interns who bitched and moaned as easily as breathing, and they fit in like a glove. I, however was trying to do my job, keep a low profile, and not bother anyone, seeing as I was never going to fit in to that crowd. And then, I got the truth about how they felt about me. One day the station manager was obviously trying to get a read on the interns and how we were all doing since he wasn’t ever around us, but he was for sure in charge of our grades. So he called one of the editors on the phone. This girl, of all the editors, really was the worst. She was the angriest, unhappiest, and the one who I knew hated me the most. She sat right behind me, and I basically just tried to breathe as quietly as possible all day long so as to not annoy her further…because my very existence was pretty much the worst to her. So she picked up the phone and I could hear her talking about the interns. Then she got to me. She mentioned me by name, and then went on and on about how annoying and incompetent I was because I would ask her for work everyday. Um, hello, I’m was INTERN and that is how I GOT work! And then she proceeded to rag on me while I was INCHES FROM HER HEAD. At this point, okay I was a bit worried about my grade for sure, but I actually was so baffled by this whole thing that I couldn’t even be upset. I kind of thought it was hilarious that she was bagging on me about 14 inches away from my ears. Did she think I was deaf? Did she think I wouldn’t hear her? It was so incredibly ridiculous that I couldn’t really even be mad about it. I just let it go being as I wasn’t going to ever see her again after stopping my internship…and she sure as heck didn’t like it when I was nice to her, so I really had no course of action to take.
I got a B in the internship. Sure, I deserved an A. The reporters loved me, all my stories made it on the news, and I rocked that joint (okay except for the police scanner…I honestly could never understand a THING they were saying over that muddy radio signal)…but I learned a lesson. Sometimes you can do everything right and really deserve an A+ in life. But that’s not what they really wanted, so you get a B instead. Sometimes you gotta figure out who you’re really working for and want to please. I’ve been in plenty of situations where the way to get ahead is to have a rotten attitude, treat people below you like garbage, and suck up to the boss. That’ll get you an A+ with the management. But who the HECK cares because I am not going to compromise who I am and how I treat people just to get an A or a promotion or recognition. I’m going to do my very own A+ work, treat people with love, and then if people don’t love me back for it, at least I know I did what I could. And hey, for the most part people love it when you’re kind to them, so most of the time being friendly and nice happens to be the way to get ahead!
I love white. Even in the winter. Nothing sounds purer than “winter whites” does it? My full name means purity, and it’s one of those qualities that my parents passed down to me that I’ve always thought was important to try and preserve in myself. I don’t mean “perfection” I mean the innocence and purity of truly caring for people and for what’s important in life. So for today, pure winter whites.
I got this massively amazing vintage lace gown at Ruby Rose in SLO and I just love it. It feels like a fairy princess gown. I added the white fur vest from H&M last season (but these are everywhere right now…particularly Target!) to keep with the white theme and to give it a winter feel. I feel like in the spring I will style this dress completely differently and it will be just as magical. I took a headband that I hardly ever wear and tied it as a choker because I actually like it way better like that! Hot tip! Tie on headbands can ALSO double as chokers!! Y tall grey Frye boots keep the look nice and neutral and wintery.
Hope all of you are having an amazing Monday and feeling loved and valued!