The Five Stages Of Buying Mass Produced Clothing

You know the drill.  You walk into Target/H&M/Forever 21/Zara (take your pick of any mass produced big name box store) and you go through the five stages of box store shopping.  1. Guilt: “I should be buying local and not buying mass produced stuff!” 2. Elation: “OH MY GOSH THIS SWEATER IS SO CUUUUUUTE!” 3. Trepidation: “Okay, but doesn’t EVERYONE ELSE have this top??” 4. Mad Rush of Emotions: “BUT DO YOU SEE HOW CHEAP IT IS???”  5. Succombing To The Sweet Scent of Deals: “I’m buying it.  ALL.”

You guys, I started a clothing line, so I have my own feelings about fast fashion.  Now that I know how much time, effort, and money goes into making real clothing, it is frustrating how quickly Zara can pump out zillions of things before I can even get half a piece of clothing done.  That being said though, I go through all the five stages just like everyone else.  And yes, I usually cave in, and buy all the deals.  And nope, I don’t regret it.  So let’s talk about how to sort of…make it all better somehow.

How do you buy something at a box store and NOT look like every other blogger/mom/girl who loves shopping out there?  I’m just gonna throw out some ideas that might help you look at things differently and encourage a healthy mix of small batch AND big box store shopping.  Because let’s face it.  Almost no one can steer completely clear of the biggies.

  1. Choose wisely.  When shopping at one of the mass produced places, you must try and avoid the strong magnetic allure of “It’s 75% off so I HAVE TO BUY IT!”  Just because it’s uber cheap, doesn’t mean you NEED it.  Stop, breathe, and ask yourself if it’s as good as what you already have OR if it meets a need in your wardrobe.  I know the madness is easy to get into.  But do a “final edit” when you get to the register and lose whatever you have doubts about.
  2. Think about how you’ll wear it.  This is when you get to distinguish yourself from the hundreds of other people who are currently buying that exact same piece of clothing (because, you’ve got great taste, so of course other people will want it!).  This is the FUN part.  Plus, it’ll help you decide whether or not you will actually wear what you’re gonna buy.  Think about pairing this top or dress (or whatever it is) with vintage accessories.  Or maybe take a handmade item or unique pair of shoes and put them with it…basically mix in your piece that EVERYONE may have with pieces that NO ONE ELSE has.  No way on earth you’re gonna look like everyone else now, is there? :)
  3. Weigh your options.  Let’s be honest.  Sometimes, Target and Zara have great on trend pieces at a fraction of the price, and a fraction of the price is really what is most affordable and practical for that particular thing.  However, there are also times when it really makes more sense to get something REAL instead.  This is really dependent on what it is you’re looking at.  For example, say you’ve been eying a handmade pair of bell bottoms on Instagram or Etsy that are just stunning.  They are custom fit, hand dyed, and exactly what you’ve been looking at.  Plus, you have been following the maker on social media and you know her dog’s name and what kind of coffee she likes and a lot of little endearing details about her life.  Then you walk into Target and you see a somewhat similar pair of bell bottoms.  They don’t fit quite as well, but they’re cute and about one quarter of the cost of the others.  Okay, I can firmly say (within reason, like really without knowing what your budget is, so please don’t get into debt or something because of me!) that this is one of those scenarios where it’s better to spend the dough.  You get what you’ve been drooling over, you support the maker, and also, you get pants that will LAST.  When people buy things from me, I literally almost cry.  That’s how much it means to me.  So when you buy from a maker, you are MAKING THEIR WEEK.
  4. Buy sparingly.  I am consistently drawn to the clothing section at Target.  And Zara?  Get out of town…I would be in TROUBLE if I had one anywhere near me.  But no matter how insanely much I want to just buy buy buy clothes when I get to Target, I force myself to only buy occasionally.  Because to be quite honest, the things I buy from Target often end up being my least favorite things…the things that end up going to the thrift store.  With the exception of the things I have chosen wisely and put more thought into my purchase.  This helps me to curb my appetite when I get there and just want to binge.

That being said, I have made a few Target clothing purchases recently, and those are the first I’ve made in close to a year!

I tried on this jumpsuit and I had to have it.  It’s just so lovely and spring-y and I think it looks way nicer than the average Target pieces.  I decided however to pair it with this vintage denim duster I got from a friend’s second hand store, Revamped The Collection, and some vintage jewelry and boots.  That way, it looks way different from the way I’ve seen it worn on Instagram already!  So you see?  You CAN have your cake and eat it too!!  Unless, however you’re on a low carb diet like me, in which case you cannot either have cake or eat it.

You catch my drift.
Happy Wednesday

Advice in Style: Rebellious Athleisure

I know what you’re thinking right now.  “What on earth is rebellious athleisure?” No, this is not a new trend that you’ve never heard of or a new movement happening on Instagram.  This is just what I’m calling my look for this post.  It’s more of a…”state of mind” than it is a trend.  I will explain, naturally.

Athleisure is this new, and for me, kind of semi repulsive, movement where girls wear yoga clothes all the time.  I love/hate this.  Here’s why.  I LOVE CLOTHES.  There is something SO incredible about watching movies set in the 1950s when women dressed for EVERYTHING.  They dressed for dinner (not like, dinner out, but simply dinner at home at their own table), they dressed for bed, they dressed to go outside and get the morning paper.  Yes, times have changed.  I love all this…however, I do have two toddlers and honey, ain’t nobody got time for all that fussiness.  Enter athleisure.  Part of me rejects this trend because it feels like it’s laughing in the face of women actually owning their own style, or even HAVING a style for that matter.  But the other part of me absolutely loves being able to throw on clothes and chase after my kids at the playground.

With all these conflicting love/hate feelings, I have come up with my OWN brand of athleisure wear that gives me better “feels” about this convenient trend.  “Rebellious athleisure”.  I have decided to participate in this trend, but with my own twist.  I wear my athleisure, with a touch of dressed up style.  Because this means I can be comfortable AND express my sense of style to all those judgmental kids at the playground.  (kidding.)  And they said you can’t have it all…

I’ve got my leggings, on trend for athleisure.  Mine came from Zara…my other “rebellion” you could say against the norms of athleisure is to buy my pieces at places that are more about fashion than about actually working out.  Then I’ve got my vintage fur cardigan.  (I believe the designers of this coat would probably have some choice words for me about wearing it like this!) and I’ve got my slip on loafers…kind of a sandal/loafer combo!

Mimicking this is easy.  As I’ve talked about in previous posts about track pants and the like, mix in athleisure pieces with things that are higher fashion.  A nice jacket or sweater goes a long way to balance out a pair of leggings or some track pants.  Gold tennis shoes or fringed boots add a nice element of surprise to this look.  Either way, express yourself with your athleisure in your own unique way, and THAT is having great style.

You see what I did there?  I managed to not reject an entire trend based on principle and also…to embrace the necessity of mom-wear while taking care of young children.  And being rebellious in the process, because all good styles start with some rebellion :)

Trending: Rebranding Existing Stores

Isn’t interesting how certain stores can thrive for a while…and then one day…almost disappear into nothing?  Let me name a few stores and I bet you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Gap.  J.Crew. Abercrombie & Fitch.  So, yeah, those are definitely still around and well known.  However, at one point in time, your responses to those brand names may have been a bit more enthusiastic.  Not so very long ago, these were the “cool kid stores”.  And now, these three brands are struggling to make it in a very different shopping climate.

A & F Quarterly, Christmas Issue 2000: A Very Emerson Christmas [Abercrombie and Fitch] by Weber, Bruce
Once upon a time, all the coolest and most elite were shrouded in Gap, A&F, or J.Crew.  But times have changed.  It’s interesting to read about what these brands are trying to do and also just to ponder why this is happening…and I think there are a myriad of reasons to be quite honest.

These brands rose to popularity at a time when it was cool to wear brands.  Logo tees were it and your status had to do with that A&F polo shirt, those Gap painter’s jeans, or that J.Crew jacket.  These things were synonymous with “the in crowd”.   Now, we are living in an era where it’s cooler to wear things from a thrift store or handmade from Etsy than it is to go drop cash at the local Gap.  It seems that now people not only care more about styles than about brands (like whether it came from Target or J.Crew, no one cares), but also where their clothes originated from.  There are more people who want to know where their clothing was made and how it was made.  Ethical fashion is becoming more, er, fashionable.  And another thing…when these stores were “in” (think of the show Friends when Joey said: “damn Gap on every corner!”) there really wasn’t Zara, Asos, or H&M in the United States.  Not to mention that when Target rebranded themselves as THE place to shop for in-style clothing, that delivered a near deathly blow to many of the stores who had little to no competition prior to this.

These retailers aren’t taking this lying down.  Abercrombie actually went so far as to delete their entire Instagram feed to start over again with a new image.  JCrew hired the former fashion director of Madewell to give their clothes a new lifespan.  Gap has struggled with logo changes gone awry, missed trends, and  general lackluster overall choices…only time will tell whether they can change the downward trend in sales and survive the new era of shopping and style choices.

So far, seems like JCrew has done an amazing job of keeping things fresh and even channeling Gucci a little bit in their new line!  My bet is they will have no problem coming back from decline with bright flying colors.  The other two…we will have to see won’t we!

Have you looked at the Abercrombie website recently?  I looked out of curiosity and it definitely was different from the typical look I would expect from them.  My take on their new site is that they are trying to hit a lot of trends all at once, and figure out who they are.  I get it.  We all go through awkward phases sometimes…and hopefully they’ll come out of it with a new and fun identity!

Happy Monday


Trending: Friday Five Roundup

It’s Friday whoop whoop!  I don’t know about you, but I’m so ready to get my weekend ON!  To help ease those last few hours of the work week, let’s have some fun shall we?  I’ve got the latest and greatest eye candy and news for ya!  (It’s calorie free, promise).

1.Bella Hadid answered the question that has been burning in me all week“how often do models fall during NYFW?”

2. The ultimate cheat sheet to this weekend’s Emmy’s awards.  Because while I watch a lot of TV, basically NONE of it is Emmy conversational!!

3. Sarah Jessica Parker wore track pants with glittery Mary Janes.  Given my recent obsession with track pants, this takes them to a whole new level.

4. Beautycounter did a line for Target.  Being a natural/safe beauty connoisseur, anytime I see a new opportunity for makeup shopping IRL, I do a happy dance.  Next time, maybe don’t be completely sold out though, ok?

5. Love Zara but want to shop ethically?  Yeah.  I know.  I’m an admitted Zara addict, but I also would always prefer to shop from places that are a little more conscious in their production!  I love this article on some great alternatives!  You may pay a little more…but it’s worth it.

Happy Friday, all you beautiful people.  I’m ready to get an acai bowl and go nuts!  (pun intended hehehehe…)

Real World Style: Magazine Fall Style

I love pouring through those amazing haute couture spreads in the latest (or even old editions really) issues of Vogue, Elle, Marie Claire…basically you name a magazine, I love it.  One of the things that’s always a struggle though, is to make the looks they put together actually wearable in real life.  I mean, a lot of haute couture is more art that inspires fashion than pieces that are really supposed to be worn to the grocery store or to a holiday party.  Let’s get real.  Some of those girls on the runways or in the photo shoots…aren’t wearing any underwear.  Sorry guys, I love fashion a lot, but I’m not showing my nipples while buying diapers at Target.  At least intentionally.

Challenging as it can be, sometimes there are looks that are more easily reproducible in those glossy pages than the ones that consist primarily of mesh and body paint!  These are the most fun looks because they are great outfit inspiration when I’m feeling like I don’t know what I want to wear!  One tip I’ve learned…vintage is often a GREAT substitute for haute couture pieces.  Often times vintage is what inspired those pieces we all see and love, and it’s at a fraction of the price and more accessible to those of us who don’t live near a Versace or Gucci store!

I love this look.  The fall feelings…the mixture of the menswear blazer, the feminine pleats, and the gritty rainboots all creates a beautiful piece of art.  This is one of those looks that, may be fantastically pricey and couture, is easily replicated out of normal clothing that is either already in your closet, or is somewhere around you at a normal store!

Everything on me is vintage, except for those Hunter boots.  And you know what, everyone needs a pair of Hunters!  It barely rains here, but when it does, I bust out these amazing things happily!  Micro pleats are a huge trend for fall 2016, and micro pleats are SO VINTAGE!  Here’s a basic option from H&M for a micro pleated skirt dress.  My jacket is an amazing Goodwill find (I watched another girl try it on and waited for her to put it back before snatching it up!) but here’s an incredible velvet blazer that would be SO good with that H&M micro pleat dress!

And there you have it, proof you can dress haute couture without spending the big bucks (unless you wanna, and there is NO judgement from me on that!).

On Pajama Dressing. All Week Long, Baby.

I have made a decision.  I am going to stay in my pajamas all week long.  Now I need to clarify this decision a little bit.  This does not mean that I’ve decided to Netflix and chill all week, just lounging in comfy clothes.  On the contrary…I’m talking about wearing my pajamas…IN PUBLIC!  I’ve recently become obsessed with pajama dressing, ever since it’s made it’s way to the runways, I’ve decided that I am FINALLY justified in spending all that dough on a set from J Crew (I have wanted them for YEARS but kinda felt like maybe I was a lunatic.  Verdict’s still out on that, but I finally have a reason to buy the jammies at least!)

Now, I get that given my intense love affair with kimonos, this isn’t a large leap to actual pajamas.  However, this is a slightly different idea, given that these more structured, menswear style pajamas aren’t something that you generally just throw on over a graphic tee and a pair of jeans.  And I’m not gonna lie…this trend does have it’s challenges!  It’s not a hard one, but there are some pitfalls to avoid when you’re workin’ the lounge wear, so let’s get going!

Let’s start with where to buy.  There’s one rule in life that I’ve found to be quite true.  Once you spend money on something, you will inevitably find a thousand more, and cheaper, at a thrift store.  This is exactly what happened to me!  However, I am SO glad I did buy this set I’ve been coveting from J Crew, because it is PERFECTION and I have yet to find any pajama pants that fit me well from a thrift store.  That’s not to say that it can’t be done, but I’m just tall and have long legs, so sometimes vintage pants are challenging for me!  If you’re looking to buy a new set but don’t want to spend that kind of money, I also found a cheaper top and pants pair at Asos.  The thing that IS however not hard to find at thrift stores, are pajama tops.  I’ve gotten some fabulous ones that are actual vintage, and some fabulous ones that are just second hand Banana Republic and Gap…so keep your mind open when you’re looking!  There are no rules to which style to buy, except what you like!  What I have been looking for is the traditional, collared button down, menswear look with contrasting piping around the edges.

Here’s a few ground rules, just to keep you from getting (too many) weird looks.  I mean, to me, if I’m not getting at least a few weird looks, then I’ve gone soft!  But I know not everyone loves to push the boundaries as much as I do, so I’m gonna try and keep this simple and wearable…then you can add the boundary pushing on top of it if you want!
Don’t wear your set…at the same time.  This is key, because if you’re wearing pajama bottoms AND a pajama top…well, then you’re really just wearing pajamas aren’t you?!  The ONLY way you can break this rule is by buying one of those super swanky pricey SATIN sets, and wearing them with super tall heels and fancy jewelry.  This, is really the only way to look like you are not ON PURPOSE rolling out of the house in your pjs.  We are not Paris Hilton circa 2001, people, just…no.  Ok.  Remember.  Pajama top with OTHER pants or a skirt, pajama bottoms with another tee.  Easy as pie!
Watch your accessories.  Don’t wear shoes that look like slippers, and please, do not wear a scrunchie.  I’m just gonna say this and hope I’m not offending anyone…but the second half of that statement probably should be followed, like 365 days of the year…FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  Just think about accessories that would never be worn to sleep in, and you’ll be just fine!
Rock it.  This is easy.  When you have a moment of “oh my gosh I’m wearing a pajama shirt…OUTSIDE!” just remind yourself that it’s honestly not that much different from a regular collared shirt!  The piping and pocket are really all that sets this shirt apart from a basic button down!  Panic moment over!

So here you have it…all week long I’ll be showing you different ways to wear pajamas.  Partly because I’m obsessed, and partly because, well, you guys…once I start looking for something, I literally can NOT STOP finding it, and then, well each piece I find is better/different than the last and…my closet is full of pajamas now!  For today, I’ve got two ways to wear the traditional, men’s style long sleeved pajama tops.  If you want an easy way to start trying this trend, THIS is the piece you want to buy.  Because it’s the easiest to mix in to your wardrobe, AND the easiest to find at a bargain at thrift stores!

Because pajama shirts are typically pretty oversized an boxy, the best way to counter that is with some slim fit pants!  I wanted to add a little element of grunge to it, so I added a gold choker and some Converse as well.  Destroyed skinny jeans add a nice balance to the very structured top.  See how easy that is though?  Just add a pajama top to your jeans and sneaks and you’re all set to go!

By the way, I don’t iron.  Like ever.  So please forgive the wrinkles.  I justified it that you’d never actually iron your pajamas (right? If you do, then I’m kind of in awe…) so I didn’t need to iron these.  Another reason to love pjs right!?  On this look, I kind of did a little bit of a “cheat” on my rules above…I wore some pajama STYLE pants with an actual pajama top.  This works though because the pants are  definitely not pajamas.  The BEST place to get pajama style pants is Zara (where these are from) and you could definitely wear them to nice places and no one would ever actually think you were in your jammies.  I added espadrilles (these are CLOSE to slipper style, but the large platform on these kind of makes them a little nicer than actual slippers).  See how I’m kind of toeing the line on those “rules” I gave you above?  Those are just general rules of thumb just to keep things simple.  But rules are meant to be broken.  Except the scrunchie rule. That one is not meant to be broken.  Ever.

Okay.  Now that I’ve offended scrunchie wearers all over, I hope that you are gonna go try the pajama trend!  And if this isn’t speaking to you, then just wait, I got more for ya…have no fears!  I got more jammies that will never be worn to bed where these came from!



On Individuality and A Super Individual Outfit

When I was a kid, I wondered occasionally if I had been dropped off by aliens because I felt so different from my parents.  I mean, I have some of their physical features, sure, but who I was was SO very opposite from them, that I felt out of place.  I mean, I definitely got some of their genetics.  Height from my dad, not a whole lot from my mom, but bad hair from everyone I’m even remotely related to.  I got their love of music and animals, but beyond that…I felt like I was not related to them at all.  It was a strange feeling, and given my lack of siblings, there wasn’t anyone to share this with or to feel like I had someone else to possibly be like.

When my son was born, I was shocked to see his incredibly fair features.  His light blue eyes and bright blonde hair…he is the opposite of my husband and I.  It’s funny, while he looks like us in some ways, he also looks nothing like us in others…he’s his own person.  It’s amazing how some things get passed on and some things don’t.   I mean, we can inherit things from our parents that aren’t just genetic features or things we love to do.  My parents passed on to my my eye color and my hair color, but they also passed on to me other things that are more subtle.  They were quite fearful when I was a child.  So fearful that something might happen to me, that they never ever were apart from me.  This passed on a very strong irrational fear that I could never be away from them, even for a couple of hours, without something bad happening.  I struggled with this through my whole childhood and only was really able to successfully go to friend’s houses without my mom tagging along with me when I was about 12 years old.  And this trait is not something that’s new to the family either.  There are a few people in my extended family who actually never left home at all.  Ever.  It’s a trait that’s been just as prominent as eye color or foot size that has been handed down for generations now.

Have you ever noticed that kids sometimes grow up and repeat the same “mistakes” their parents made?  I’ve seen this before and kind of wondered why on earth they would make the exact same choice their parents did…when they’ve had the opportunity to watch how that choice affected the lives of the ones who came before them.  It’s because we pass down to our kids more than just our talents or looks.  We pass down to them other things, good and bad.  My mom is a ver passionate person who tends to go full speed ahead on issues.  I got that from her.  And my dad has a great sense of humor…which is where I learned to laugh so much.  But there were also the fears, the inability to take risks, and the never feeling good enough…those things also tried to hop right aboard my life too.  And this is why I’ve been thinking so much about it all.  What am I going to pass on to my kids?  I mean, obviously I’m only human so no matter how hard I try, I’m sure they’re going to pick up some stuff from me that’s not super awesome.  But I’d really like to stop making negative comments about myself to start.  Stop being so paranoid about weight loss and eating correctly…I don’t want them to be afraid to eat things that are fun.  I don’t want them to have a mom who gives up on her dreams, thereby enabling them to do the same.  Or a mom who doesn’t feel like she deserves a compliment.  I want to teach them that it’s okay to travel, and that leaving home and seeing the world isn’t a scary thing.  Although, I still battle that fear in myself.  Regardless, I can change these things in myself for my kids and do things that might be uncomfortable for me so not only can THEY live out a full life, but maybe I can also do things I never really thought I’d have the guts to do.  I think it’s worth it.

One thing I’m betting I will pass on to my children is that it’s okay to dress like an individual.  Already they want to wear superhero capes and animal hats and all kinds of fun stuff when we go out to the store.  And I’m sure as heck gonna let them because being who they are is important to me.  I was an individual from birth, and that’s never changed.

The thing I love about this outfit is that it’s kind of crazy, but in a way that all the elements actually compliments each other.  The pants were on super sale on and the lace top was from there as well.  The pink top and the loafers were thrifted, as was the gold necklace.  This outfit just makes me happy.  It’s fun, vintage inspired, and has the right mix of bohemian and structured 70’s that I love.

No matter if you FEEL like you’re an individual or not, you are.  You might have inherited a LOT from your parents…genetically and emotionally…but that doesn’t mean that you are not your own person!  If I can be myself after years of feeling like I couldn’t even survive being away from my parents, then you can too! :)

Happy weekend


On Having Regrets and Having Fun

Regret is such a powerful emotion.  I guess I kind of thought (naively) when I was younger, that if I did a good enough job and always made the right choices, I would avoid this horrendous thing altogether.  Boy was I wrong.  I learned the hard way that there are even consequences for making the RIGHT choices at times.  Gosh, I look back and sometimes harbor huge regrets about decisions I made that were right and I honestly couldn’t imagine me making a different one given who I was at the time and the situation I had to deal with. However, I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by what that decision cost me over time, that I wish I’d just gone ahead and made the easy decision.  I mean, how naive was I that I actually thought I could avoid regret over the course of my life?

I’ve often wondered why we have such an obsession with looking back at our lives.  For a long time, I was so gung-ho about the future, so driven, and just so bound and determined to get there, that I wasted absolutely ZERO time on the past.  I had blinders on, and I was obsessed with getting to where I wanted to be.  So much so, that I often struggled with enjoying my present and struggled with depression about why I couldn’t get things done faster.  I felt like I had lived an entire lifetime of regret vicariously through my parents during my childhood.   I had watched their regrets form throughout my life and felt their disappointment like it was my own.  One of the horrible hazards of being an only child, by the way.  So when I “grew up” and had a life of my own, I was like nope…not gonna happen to me.  This made it all the more painful when not only did the future that I had imagined disappear (or at least it FELT like it did), but also everything that I had worked for and tried to build towards that future was stolen from us.  Suddenly it felt like I was left standing there, holding a pile of ashes in my hands with a trail of people behind me who were either angry with me from making the decisions I had had to make or who had moved on without me, having no understanding of what had just happened to me.  Regret.  Searing regret.  Wishing I had compromised and not let lesser opportunities pass me by.  Wishing I had just done something, anything different, that maybe would have not led to the disintegration of everything I had poured my heart and soul into so passionately.

One of the things I have realized that is the worst thing about regret, is that it kind of tends to try to ruin your future.  It tells you that the decisions you have made in the past will keep you from moving forward.  And along with that regret, comes that obsession with the “good old days” where you look back with such longing because, well, the devil you know is much better than the devil you don’t right??  No.  That’s the kind of thought pattern that keeps me from making new memories and keeps me from really experiencing joy in TODAY, in a brand new time period.  Yeah, but I don’t KNOW this time period.  I am not FAMILIAR with it like I was with that one.  I don’t one hundred percent know the new me and my new dreams for my future, and that’s scary.  It would be so much easier to just have my old ones back…and yet…there’s a reason they turned to ash in the first place.

I know it’s way past time for me to let go of these regrets that I’ve wrestled with. Because I don’t have a time machine, so I can’t do anything about those choices.  It is a GOOD thing I don’t because no one who is a borderline OCD perfectionist should ever be allowed to go near one of those things.  EVER.  Otherwise I’ll go back in time just to check to make sure I locked the car, add on a fourth necklace to my outfit, and definitely check to see if I left the stove on for the 19th time.  Important stuff, if you ask me.  It’s time to let go because I WANT to have a future.  And the past is not my future.  While it may hold some warm and fuzzy memories, it is NOT where I am meant to go.  I am meant to go forward, to grow and change, and to learn from even the choices I made that were the right ones to make.  To boldly go where I’ve never gone before and experience an amazing future, even if it’s not exactly as I pictured it before.  It will be EVEN BETTER if I let it.  This is where I think the appropriate song to play would be “You Can’t Touch This” because I’m moving forward, and I’m not taking that old stuff with me.

Whew.  That was a lot of emotion.  Kind of like listening to an Adele album and weeping for a little bit and then afterwards, watching a comedy on tv and eating some candy just to lighten up a little!  After all that deep digging and pondering, here’s the candy and fun part :)

I felt like while talking about such a deep and emotional topic, I should choose a super fun and borderline crazy outfit because, well, life is meant to be much more fun that we make it.  I may love Adele songs but I also love Taylor Swift.  Because life is supposed to be FUN and we just need to sing “Shake it Off” and the top of our lungs and dance like a lunatic because, well, it’s FUN.

So today’s outfit is entitled: “How To Wear Fun Clothes”

I’ve been a bit obsessed with trying to wear a squash blossom necklace with a tie.  Because I’ve never seen anyone do it before, and it just sounds bold and amazing if you ask me.  I haven’t had any luck with trying to mix the two and have everything lay in just the right spot, until I found this nice compromise piece.  I’ve had this pin on vintage-y scarf bow for years.  I never really knew what to do with it, and then I decided to try it with this lace top from Zara and this necklace from Classic Rock Couture.  The menswear pants that are Vince but thrifted from a store in Santa Barbara completed this slightly masculine look.  It’s a little silly, and a lot fun.

Hope your week is going amazingly!!


On Menswear and Being a Woman

Warning.  I’m feeling a wee bit hyper today.  So who the heck knows how this post is going to come out.  But I’ll try to put a cap on the crazy for you all. :)

When I was a little girl, I think I was very confused about normal stuff (as kids often are) and I remember thinking that even though I was a girl, I’d also get to try out being a boy too.  I hesitate in a way to even mention this because I’m not trying to tell you I WANTED to be a boy…there’s kind of a lot of popularity regarding this topic lately and I’m REALLY not trying to make a statement about it.  So forget about Caitlyn Jenner and come along with me in this story! :)  I was just confused for half a second. (I also kind of thought mother nature and father time were married…you catch my kid-brain crazy drift?) I was a bit confused about the fact that I was a girl, and that’s just who I was: for good, and that people didn’t just switch back and forth.  I figured it out rather quickly, and also sorted out the whole father time confusion as well, and I am finally now in my right mind.  I think.

Growing up as a girl is weird.  You know why?  Other girls.  That’s why.  My earliest girl friend, who was actually kind of forced upon me, was this horrid girl who was SUPER mean to me.  Our moms were friends, so naturally I had to hang out with her.  This girl was straight evil and she introduced me to “girl culture.”  She told me she was prettier than I was.  She showed me how my shoes were ugly and how hers were beautiful.  She told me she was a princess and that I was not.  Dude we were like five years old.  This sh** starts early, people.  After this nurturing and healthy female relationship (dripping with sarcasm clearly), I moved on to my best friend and some other girl friends who were awesome.  Fun, supportive, and just into being goofy…we were just all together along for the ride of junior high and high school.  We made cheesy faux horror movies together.  We toilet papered teacher’s houses because we actually loved our teachers.  (Weird way of expressing love, I know, but we were in high school, so you gotta keep that in consideration!) We had a blast.  And then came my next foray into “girl culture”.

Early in high school I started singing at my church, which was amazing for me since singing is like breathing to me…necessary for the life of my soul.  I began to relearn about the drama of females.  There was a woman singing with me who was about ten plus years older than me, who immediately began to act insecure about me singing with her.  She’d make little jabs at me, put me down for my age, and treat me like I was a baby who knew nothing at all about anything.  This was a bit puzzling to me since she was an adult who was married and I was a 15 year old high school girl with acne.  Sigh.  Women don’t discriminate with who threatens them.  I decided to just tread lightly when I was around her and let her be so as not to aggravate her massive and crushing insecurities.

Post college I learned about my own insecurities around other women when I realized that I had become somewhat of a drone…following whatever my friends said and did.  I thought I was relatively confident and free from major insecurities…but boy was I wrong.  I found that my fears didn’t lead me to put others down, it led me to put myself down.  And there I was, back in that same relationship I was in at five years old.  Except I was my own bully.

Girls are weird you guys.  We are amazing creatures who can love and support each other if we want to.  But if we don’t, LOOK OUT.  No one knows how to tear you down in all the right places like a girl.  Many times I’ve kind of wondered if life isn’t just easier when you’re a guy…punching each other in the shoulder and saying: “hey man.”  End of conversation.  “How about those sports guys playing on that field with some sort of ball?” (yeah I realize that NO GUY in the history of the universe has ever said that phrase, but I am a girl so cut me some slack!)  You know what though?  I’m happy to be a girl…because as good as girls can be at cutting other women down, NO ONE can build you back up like an amazing girl friend.  And that’s the kind of woman I always want to be.

Menswear.  I’m channeling my inner “how bout those sports guys” and dressing like the prettiest dude I can imagine! :)

I’m a total sucker for a vintage tie.  I found this one at a thrift store for $3 and there’s just no way this was made for a guy!!  It’s WAY too pretty!  The jacket is thrifted as well as the turquoise and the pants are from Zara.  You guys I’ve fallen in LOVE with Zara for basics.  I’m a little late to the Zara party, but hey, I’m joining now.


I changed it up to be a little more of a basic structured boxy look, which has a menswear feel to it.  The top is from Zara and the amazing squash blossom is handmade from Free To Wander.

Okay girls.  I hope you are surrounded with women who make you feel beautiful and amazing even on your darkest and ugliest days.  Because that’s what every woman needs!  Love to all of you!