Ever heard that whole “thin line between love and hate” thing before? I’m betting so. Kinda funny because it’s kinda true. I mean, both emotions are so strong, that it’s almost like saying that whether you love or hate something, both are very strong emotions, and could almost be confused for each other at times. It makes me think of that movie, remember that old high school classic “10 Things I Hate About You”, in which we ALL knew actually meant the girl was gonna fall for the guy she “despised”? Yep. Predictable, and yet, awesome. I was thinking about that movie, particularly about the title. It is unfortunately MUCH too easy for me to come up with 10 things (actually many many more) I hate about ME…but not as easy to come up with 10 things that I LOVE about me. Dang. Why is that??? Self loathing just comes more naturally than self LOVING I guess!!
So I thought about it some more, and realized that when it comes to things we love about ourselves, they are sometimes the same things that we hate at times too, am I right? Like…you may love a certain quality about your personality, but at times that same quality gets you into trouble. Like…you love that you’re social, but you often get told that you’re talking too much…or something of that nature. Get my meaning? I thought that this was a PERFECT example of that “thin line”. It’s the things we are passionate about ourselves, the things we love AND hate. So here it is. My “10 Things I Love/Hate About ME.” (*I’d love to hear yours…whether it’s one, ten, or 20! So please tell me!)
- My Height. I love being tall. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love being able to reach stuff up high, never having to hem my pants, and never really having to wear heels. However, you try being the tallest out of all your friends, or most people in any given photo. Yes, I am that hunchback looking person on the side, trying to awkwardly be the same height as everyone else around me. Also, short people don’t realize this often, but tall people often look “fat” next to shorter people because of their height. It’s just the way it goes, people!
- My Eyebrows. This is again, a double edged sword. My eyebrows are virtually…perfect. In the way that they NEVER have really needed to be shaped or waxed because they grow in a perfect arch. HOWEVER, they will never be like Brooke Shields’ full and gloriously bohemian caterpillars like I WANT them to be. So…love/hate.
- My Tenacity. I love that I fight for things and people. I love that I don’t give up easily and that I often will choose the harder way if the results are better. But I also hate it. It makes for a lot of heartbreak in the process because I care SO VERY DEEPLY for the things I fight for…and the process can be terrible. I often get angry at myself for being unwilling to compromise and just do things the “normal way”. It’s a wonderful quality…and a painful one at that.
- My Sense of Humor. Some people think I’m quite funny, so I stick with them. I kind of shy away from people who don’t think I’m funny, because…well…I like to make people laugh! I love love love when people laugh at stuff I say or do. I love when I get my comedic timing right (I really just quote a LOT of tv shows you guys, and I bank on the fact that most people don’t actually remember the things I’m copying!) and I love it when people tell me I’m funny. But I also don’t love it when people are trying to be serious or like, pay attention to stuff (um…who really DOES that??) and all I can think of are random comments about llamas or vampires, and NO ONE wants to hear them. I can never turn off the randomness. Ever. So…love/hate.
- My Memory. I have excellent SHORT TERM memory. I was the quickest studier, easiest A on tests all through school because I could memorize like nobody’s business. I don’t have to understand stuff, I can just remember it and spit it out. But it is exactly what it sounds like…it is SHORT TERM. If you asked me something that was on a test I took just half an hour earlier…I probably couldn’t answer you. It’s a great tool…but it often means that I have a hard time LEARNING and REMEMBERING like, REAL stuff. It’s all just data that gets quick shoved into a junk drawer in my brain…and then dumped shortly after.
- My Memory…For Randomness. You guys, I remember actresses and characters names. I remember tv show plots, quotes, situations…you name it. I remember stuff from books, movies…anything with a STORY, I get the deets for ya. Ask me if I remember someone’s name that I have seen every Sunday at church for the past three years. Yeah. I don’t got that one. USEFUL RIGHT??? I love that I am so into stories. They’re fun. Sometimes though, just once in a while, it would be nice if I remembered an ACTUAL HUMAN’S NAME in REAL FRICKIN LIFE.
- My Commitment. When people applauded me for losing weight after having my kids, I of course appreciated it. But you gotta know that for me, it wasn’t optional. I am HARDCORE about my diet and exercise. I am beyond committed. I love this. A challenge in these areas doesn’t really frighten me, it excites me. But this commitment level often gets in the way of LIFE. It makes me stressed out when I go out of town or have a change in my schedule…it makes me rather inflexible at times. And I hate that.
- My Hair. The fact that this made the list is NOTHING short of a miracle. I have battled my hair for most of my life, with little success. After switching to a natural hair routine, I have come to love my hair texture. I love the curl and the wave, and at this point…I wouldn’t trade it in. That’s a first. However…I wish it was thicker and stronger. I’d love to grow it out. Up to this point, it’s never grown past like my shoulder blades. So here’s hoping…maybe this will all change and I’ll just love/love my hair someday soon!
- My Nose. I’ve had people tell me they love my nose. I’ve always loved my nose too. I mean, I feel like the shape is great, and I’ve never wished it was different. But you guys, I’ve ALWAYS struggled with stuffy noses at all stages of my life. I’ve often loved that my nose is thin and has a good shape…but it’s just that…it’s THIN and that makes it get stuffy often. The thing that I love about it…often frustrates me.
- How Much I Care. I care about people and things. A LOT. Often more than I really should. I love that I love people. I love that I feel for people and I want to help them and do my best to. But yeah, this is a double edged sword. It’s painful to care for people, because when you care as much as I do, you often don’t receive the same amount of return from others. Much of the time I am fully aware that I am way more committed to someone/something than they are to me. That is a hard and exhausting place to be in. It’s challenging to balance yourself when you feel so much for people and things. I love it…and I hate it.
This dress is a classic love/hate thing. I mean look at it! I had to cut out some serious shoulder pads of this thing. But the colors…oh the colors. It’s just amazing and ugly all at the same time. So…I’ll take it! :)
I’m working on that whole “self loathing” thing. But it is quite true though, that often our good qualities can have a dark side as well! It’s just part of being human!